Unlikely Ownership Candidate Of The Day: Charlie Sheen

PROS

• PA system would blast Wild Thing anytime Sheen is shown on the jumbotron
• All concessions would be updated giving Citi Field the largest beer and liquor selection in New York State
• After enough drinks would gladly hit any of the players in-laws, freeing the players from the risk of injury or arrest
• Keith Hernandez would finally have a drinking buddy within the organization

CONS

• Grounds crew would constantly have to redraw the foul lines every time Sheen accidentally snorts them
• The Mets would now be on the hook for keep Jon Cryer's career afloat
• The Pepsi Porch would be renamed the Prostitute Porch and well...you can figure out the rest
• Does anyone really wanna see this:

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

Pin It