Thursday, February 17, 2011

Unlikely Ownership Candidate Of The Day: Charlie Sheen

  • PA system would blast Wild Thing anytime Sheen is shown on the jumbotron
  • All concessions would be updated giving Citi Field the largest beer and liquor selection in New York State
  • After enough drinks would gladly hit any of the players in-laws, freeing the players from the risk of injury or arrest
  • Keith Hernandez would finally have a drinking buddy within the organization
  • Grounds crew would constantly have to redraw the foul lines every time Sheen accidentally snorts them
  • The Mets would now be on the hook for keep Jon Cryer's career afloat
  • The Pepsi Porch would be renamed the Prostitute Porch and can figure out the rest
  • Does anyone really wanna see this:

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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