Monday, October 31, 2011

Clubhouse Of Horror: Night Of The Living Dead Weight

Dammit, I thought we were done with these guys!

Clubhouse Of Horror: David Wright's Revenge

Go ahead Mets fans, dump pigs blood on David Wright all you want, but don't say I didn't warn you when he burns down Citi Field.

Clubhouse Of Horror: The Ringless

Seven years after you sign the contract...your team dies!

Clubhouse Of Horror: Fred Wilpon is The Fly

Help Meeeee.....

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Mets Players Going Crazy For "Horsemanning"

If you haven't yet heard of the new trend "horsemanning", consider yourself lucky.  Basically the idea is to get a friend and take a photo that makes it look like you are holding your own head like the headless horseman.  Considered the new "planking", many are hailing it as THE hot new internet photo trend while others call it an enormous waste of time.  This current group of Mets players have shown themselves to be very into social media and internet trends so it was no surprise to me when I started receiving these horsemanning pictures from various Mets players in my inbox. Enjoy.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Many Mets Players Blissfully Unaware Of The Existence Of Post Season Play

The other day THE APPLE assigned me to cover a charity luncheon at a downtown Manhattan hotel.  It was a grand event which featured active and retired players from the major sports and hockey.

I had a chance to hobnob with some of the legends of their respective games.  I must say my hobbing is really coming around but my nobbing is still a work in progress.

When it came time for the actual meal I had the choice of sitting at a table with NY Knick greats like Walt "Clyde" Frazier, Kenny "Sky" Walker, and Bernard "I forgot to have a nickname" King or sit with some of the present Mets players at an adjacent table.  I, of course, sat with the Amazins.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Don't Feel Like Watching Some Other Teams Play In The World Series? Why Not Watch The Mets Win The Series For The Bazillionith Time?

Contrary to popular belief, the 86 series didn't end on Buckner's ball.  They played a whole 'nuther game.  Look it up, it's true.  There was another Mets comeback, the Straw Man almost making an "Endy" catch and my personal favorite Mets moment: Ray Knight vs. Calvin Schiraldi.  Enjoy!

Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Mets Hoping Frozen Ollie Perez Will Boost Fan Interest In Citi Pond

Winter is just around the corner and once again Citi and the Mets have teamed up to sponsor the Citi Pond ice skating rink in Bryant Park.  While the sponsorship has been great for Citi, the Mets have found that interest from their fan base has been lukewarm at best.  In the hopes of turning that around Citi Pond will open this Friday with a new feature; a frozen Oliver Perez.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Pascucci Becomes Latest NY "Athlete" To Boycott Mike Francesa

So far during the offseason the only stories we've all had to write about are the ones saying that Jose will probably sign elsewhere and that the outfield walls were getting lower and shallower.  Big whoop.

Then a Mets player, of sorts, stepped up to the plate and gave us something to write about: Val Pascucci.  Now, truth be told, this minor league journeyman is so obscure that I don't think I could distinguish him from Amerigo Vespucci but it's been quiet around here lately so when the big "slugger" called a press conference the Mets beat writers had no reason not to attend.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Get A Load Of This Clown: NJ Mayor Kinda/Sorta Blames Jose Reyes For The Problems Of An Entire Generation

Bridgeton, NJ Mayor Albert "McCheese" Kelly woke up from an apparent month long coma yesterday and decided to take a swipe at Jose Reyes.  Not only does Mayor Kelly make the bold an original move of comparing Reyes to Ted Williams, he takes it a step further by basically suggesting that Jose Reyes is everything that's wrong with America's youth.  If Mayor Kelly gets this riled up about something Jose Reyes did in September, I wonder what's gonna happen when he finds out about the J-Lo/Marc Anthony split.

Hat tip to Mets Police for finding this nonsense. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

GOP Candidates Present Ideas To Fix The Mets At CNN Debate

You've probably heard that there are a whole bunch of Republicans vying for their party's nomination for President of the United States.  If you haven't watched any of their debates just wait about 20 minutes and I'm sure another one will be starting within that time frame.

They have seemingly already been asked (and have answered or dodged) every question under the sun by this point.

The Apple submitted to each of the declared candidates a question we think they have not been subjected to during their debates:  "What do you think of the New York Mets?  And what should they do in the next year or two to fix what is broken?"

Actually we submitted the question to all of them except Gary Johnson, the former Governor of New Mexico.  Since they don't let him in for every debate we thought we could save some postage by not sending him our question.

Unfortunately the debate ran long and the candidates did not get around to our question until after CNN had already cut the feed.  Fortunately, we have the following transcript of their responses.

Monday, October 17, 2011

SNY Renews Kevin Burkhardt But Cancels The Mets

It is October, a time when TV networks realize that their brilliant ideas of just a few months ago have turned into shows that nobody really cares about.  Ask the folks at "The Playboy Club" and Hank Azaria's amigos at "Free Agents".  They have been pink slipped already. (Wait, is that a pun regarding the Playboy show?)

The Apple has learned that due to failing ratings during the 2011 baseball season, sports network SNY has decided to discontinue carrying games in the upcoming 2012 season.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mets Appoint New "Assistant Director Of Beer Vending", Twitter Explodes

File Photo Of Franklin From Shea Stadium
In a procedural move yesterday, the New York Mets appointed Eddie Franklin the new assistant director of beer vending at Citi Field.  Mets fans on the popular social networking site Twitter immediately voiced their displeasure...

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Apple Confirms Ryan Howard Was Indeed Riding A Scooter In Whole Foods

A few days ago, a grainy photo allegedly shows Ryan Howard riding a scooter at Whole Foods, surfaced.  The internet was abuzz with people debating the authenticity of the photo.  Well I've solved the case.  The Apple has acquired another photo which removes all doubt.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

FOX Replaces Entire ALCS Broadcast Team With The Judges From The X Factor

Concerned about rain delays and the possibility that their "hit" show The X Factor could be preempted again, FOX has decided that during tonight's game, the FOX broadcast team will be replaced by the judges from The X Factor. Baseball fans are mostly thrilled since it means they will not have to listen to Joe Buck.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Occupy Citi Field Movement Enters Third Week

The crowd of angry Mets fans gathered outside Citi Field continues to grow as the Occupy Citi Field movement enters it's third week.  The protest, which has been largely ignored by most of the mainstream Mets blogs, doesn't seem to have a clear goal but protesters are united in the fact that they are ticked off about something the Mets have done recently.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

MLB Cashing In On Joaquin Benoit's Giant Bandage

Never one to miss an opportunity to make some merchandising dollars, Major League Baseball today unveiled their latest product.  A replica of Joaquin Benoit's ginormous bandage from the ALDS.  Here's the description from

Monday, October 10, 2011

Fox Attempts To Please Fans Of Baseball & Dinosaurs, Fails At Both

Desperate not to lose viewers tuning in for Terra Nova, FOX digitally added dinosaurs to game 2 of the ALCS when the game ran long.

Apples For Some, Miniature American Flags For Others: Vote For "The Apple" In Your Flushing Flash Survey

Some of you may have received an email survey from the Mets recently asking you which blogs you read.  In a further effort to have my nonsense legitimized I ask that you please write in The Apple since I'm not yet as cool as my fellow gang members MetsPolice, OnTheBlack & Optimistic Mets Fan who all have easily checkable selections available.  You can pick as many as you want so make sure to vote for those guys too. Thank you for your support.

Opening Day Without Jose Reyes

I hear a lot of Mets fans say they can't envision an Opening Day without Jose Reyes.  It's not that hard, I imagine it would look a lot like this...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Friday, October 7, 2011

Are The Mets Going Too Far To Appease Fans Who Miss Shea Stadium?

In 2009 the Mets moved into Citi Field, a world class ballpark that many New Yorkers say is superior to the Yankees entertainment complex in the Bronx.  However a lot of Mets fans have been slow to embrace the new park as home.  While this is most likely has more to do with the team that plays there, Citi has hosted three losing teams in it's three seasons, the Mets organization has constantly taken steps to make the new ballpark feel more like the old park.  While I understand the front office wanting to make people feel as comfortable at possible where do you draw the line.  I was at Citi Field today to meet with my ticket rep and took this picture:
I think it's a bit much.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Brief Look Inside The Mets "Dynamic Pricing" Model

The plan for the Mets in 2012 is to lower ticket prices.  But the team has stated that it reserves the right to raise prices again for certain high profile games.

The Mets have allowed The Apple to take a peek at some of the early plans for alterations in ticket prices. These are unofficial at the moment but if the club can find an accountant to track all the possibilities it is expected that they will go into effect:

Mets Offer Customized Parking Space As "Amazin Fan Perk"

The Mets have released a list of this year's Amazin Fan Perks for season ticket holders.  Shannon over at MetsPolice posted a nice recap yesterday if you're interested in the whole list.  While there are some interesting and not so interesting perks available, one jumped out at me: The Personalized Parking Space!  I think we all know how that would go.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


See the photo here.

Exclusive: First Photo Of R.A. Dickey From "The Body Issue"

Not to be outdone by teammate Jose Reyes' nude photo in ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue", Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey released this photo today.

Mets Ticket Sales Staff Bulking Up To Enforce "Dynamic Pricing"

This week, the Mets announced that they will be using a "dynamic pricing" system in 2012.  Under the new system, ticket prices can be adjusted upward and downward in real time to meet demand.  While the goal of dynamic pricing is to encourage pre-season sales and reward subscribers with the best prices, many will no doubt see the plan as greedy at best and legalized scalping at worst.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011 Hits A Home Run With "Too Much Money-Ball"

Yes it's a joke we all some coming a mile away but when it's executed this well it doesn't matter.  By far the best line has to be "What is happening in New York? Spending all that money is miraculously working out for them!". I hear Art Howe is not happy about how he was portrayed in this movie either.

Hat tip to @Jest and @AmazinAvenue

Exclusive: Mets Marketing Department Leaks 2012 Mets Slogan Ideas

Once again, the Mets Marketing Department is spending the off-season polishing next year's turd coming up with promotional materials for next season.  Just like last year, they have agreed to let The Apple publish some of their early ideas to see what my readers think.  Enjoy and let me know which you like best.  Don't forget to add your own ideas in the comments section.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Lil' Murph's Diary: Little Murph's Last Diary Entry Of The Season

Dear Diary:

Well the 2011 baseball season is over for the Mets (it was over for me a long time ago but you already knew that).  We didn't make the playoffs, we didn't finish over .500, and for sure we didn't stay healthy.  I guess it was another "didn't" season.

But the news isn't 1000% bad.  Our boy Jose (Reyes of course) won the National League batting championship.  Good for him. Someone told me that no Met has ever done that before.  Betcha that if I'd stayed healthy I coulda given Josie and Braun a run for their money but, well, you know....

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