Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Scientists Scramble To Unfreeze Huey Lewis In Time For Mets Concert Series

This afternoon the New York Mets announced their summer concert series. While the news was met with little enthusiasm from the team's fans, the announcement of a Huey Lewis and the News concert did send shock waves through the scientific community. The reason being that, possibly unbeknownst to the Mets, Huey Lewis has been in cryogenic hypersleep since 1991.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!



Monday, September 30, 2013

Captain Shorts Wears The Apple's "Captain Shorts" T-Shirt On Mets Broadcast

I swear this is not Photoshopped
I was lucky enough to spend Sunday afternoon celebrating Mike Piazza at Citi Field with 800 or so friends known as The 7 Line Army. I was on my way out of Citi Field after the game when I got this tweet:

I almost fell down the steps from laughing. There was Captain Shorts doing his thing on SNY wearing one of The Apple's Captain Shorts T-Shirts on the broadcast. He even turned it backwards so that it would show on camera. I had absolutely no idea that this was happening.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Mets Turn To Tennis To Distract Fans From Harvey Woes

In hopes of distracting Mets fans from their latest injured star, the Mets announced today that John Isner, the highest ranking US participant in the US Open will be serving a first pitch from the outfield during one of their remaining games against the Phillies.

Isner, who has one of the fastest serves in all of tennis and has been red hot, beating all but two seeds above him this season. If he gets to the quarterfinals as is expected, he'll have to face #2 seed Rafael Nadal, who he has never beaten.

Unfortunately for Mets fans who love tennis, the team will not be in town during the second week of the Open when that match would take place. However, if you're interested in a Mets-US Open doubleheader to drown your Harvey sorrows, you've got three more days with both US Open tennis and a Mets home game.

To help you plan the week, the guys over at TiqIQ put together a link with tickets to all Mets games and US open tickets.  according to TiqIQ, Wednesday is the cheapest day with a combined get-in price of $41 for a day session at the Open and a Mets nightcap.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Dice-K: I Only Signed With Mets So I Could Meet Third Eye Blind

On Thursday, the Mets signed Daisuke "Dice-K" Matsuzaka, but don't go getting any ideas about the veteran right-hander contributing beyond this season.  Matsuzaka told reporters today he signed with the Mets for one reason only.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

SPECIAL REPORT: Suspended Mets Minor Leaguer Jordany Valdespin Has Been Living In Citi Field For The Last Week

Last week the Mets hosted a sleepover for about 400 fans. The event went off without a hitch, or so the Mets thought. Apparently, one of the "fans" in attendance was actually suspended minor leaguer Jordany Valdespin.

Groundskeepers discovered Valdespin while cleaning up after the event. According to witnesses, JV1 told security that he deserves to be at Citi Field because he is "the man right now and always" and that if this is the only way he can be here during his suspension then he will simply live in the outfield for the rest of the year.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Mets To Expand Sleepover Promotion To Home Games In 2014

By all measures the Mets' recent sleepover promotion at Citi Field was a rousing success. Actually, the only measure the team uses is whether it makes money doing something and it did - so there.

If you're not familiar with the sleepover event let me enlighten you. 500 fans paid to be able to sleep on the outfield grass at Citi Field in Flushing. Their tickets entitled them to a dinner, a snack, and breakfast the next morning. The scoreboard in center field showed the Mets game as they were playing a night game in Arizona. It was followed by a movie.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Jordany Valdespin: Jealous Mets Teammates Tricked Me Into Going To Biogenesis

Yesterday Major League Baseball suspended Mets minor leaguer Jordany Valdespin for involvement in the Biogenesis scandal. The 50 game suspension will be tacked on to any other suspensions he is currently serving for whatever asinine things he's done in the last week.

The Mets organization issued the following statement:
“We have and continue to support Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Testing program.”
In a statement he released last night, Valdespin maintained his innocence and blamed forces inside the Mets organization that he believes wanted him gone:

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Sandy Alderson Rips Into Mets Fans At Season Ticket Holder Event

Yesterday, with the team away in Miami, the Mets held a meet and greet where some season ticket holders got the opportunity to meet with Sandy Alderson. 

With the MLB trade deadline looming, many of the fans questions predictably centered around the Mets GM's plans to improve the team in the next 24 hours. 

For the most part, Alderson handled himself well but after about the 17th question about Marlon Byrd, he finally became unhinged and angrily chastised the group:

Friday, July 26, 2013

Mets Announce New "Harvey Day" Tier Pricing

The Mets now use a system of pricing their tickets that they call "DYNAMIC PRICING". To translate that into English, it means the team wants to charge you more if it thinks you want to come to a particular game. The downside of all the team's pricing policies is that one of the teams, alas, is always the Mets. Hard to get away from that reality.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Friday, July 19, 2013

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Mets Leave 'Em Laughing: 2013 MLB All-Star Game TV Comedy Recap

The 2013 All-Star Game may be over, but it did leave us with some memorable TV comedy moments from some familiar Mets faces.

First up is the one Mets fans have been talking about for days, Matt Harvey interviewing New Yorkers about Matt Harvey:

This is too good. Up to now I would have never suspected Harvey would be the kind of guy who would do this kind of silly stuff. He may have grown up a Yankees fan but methinks this guy is a real Met after all. Go ahead and rewind to 1:30 to watch Matt's reaction to the "kinda saw him naked" comment a few more times. It's OK, I'll wait for you.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Photos From All-Star Fanfest & Legends/Celebrity Softball Game

So much "excitment"?



Lil' Murph's Diary: Lil' Murph Feels The Pressure

Dear Diary,

I know it's been a long while since I wrote anything here in you. Sorry, my bad.  I was waiting to be in a good stretch with both the team and myself doing well.  But since I can hardly remember back to when that was the case I figured I'd break down and update you right now seeing as how it's time for the All Star break.   The break is a time when us guys who are not All Stars  (ha, ha, - remember back when I was really hitting and some people thought I could be an All Star?) get to not play for a few days.   It's a time for our minor bumps and bruises to heal and get ready for the 2nd half's bumps and bruises.

I have to tell you diary that I can't shake this feeling in my bones that my days as a New York Metropolitan may be numbered.  The other day I was in our clubhouse and noticed that one of the empty lockers near mine now has a sign on it saying, "Future locker of Wilmer Flores."   Now I may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I can put 2 and 2 together sometimes.  This Wilmer (not to be confused with the one from the Flintstones) is a young kid (like 21, ugh) who is hitting real good at Las Vegas and after trying to play every other position there is has settled in at second base -  MY SPOT!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Matt Harvey Wants To Start The All-Star Game...In The Nude

While it's no surprise that Matt Harvey wants to be the starting pitcher for the National League at the All-Star Game at Citi Field on Tuesday, the Mets ace raised some eyebrows while talking to reporters before the team's game against the Pirates on Saturday night.  Harvey, of body issue fame, stated his desire to pitch the game in the nude.

"This whole body issue thing has opened a lot of new doors for me.", said Harvey. "Starting the All-Star game is great and everything, but if I go out there naked I'll make history."

Harvey believes that he can provide the big moment that the Citi Field faithful are waiting for.

"The no-hitter was nice, but people will be telling their kids about the night they went to Citi and saw a Mets pitcher take the mound with his junk hanging out forever."

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Mets Anger Native American Group: Even I Thought I Made This One Up

Mets fans will have to make do with Chief Running Mouth
In what will easily be one of the hardest to top weird stories in this 2013 Mets season, the A.I.C.H. (American Indian Community House) has pulled out of Native American Heritage Day after a disagreement between the Native American organization and the team.

Apparently, when the Mets scheduled Native American Heritage Day for July 25th, they did not realized that the Atlanta Braves would be the opponent. Out of fear that the Braves may see the whole thing as some kind of protest against their brand, the Mets asked the A.I.C.H. if they could, "act less Indian-y."

Angered that the Mets were giving their activities the tomahawk chop to spare the feelings of the Braves, the A.I.C.H. decided simply to pull out of the event.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Mets Move Quickly To Capitalize On "Recker Day"

Email blast sent out to Mets fans following Sunday's game

Voting Nimmo: Last Day To Cast Your Ballot For Mets Prospect

Today is the last day to vote Brandon Nimmo into the MLB All-Star Futures Game.  You can cast your vote here.

 No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Buy New York Mets Tickets

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mets Hire World Of Warcraft Nerds To Get David Wright Into The All-Star Game

W.O.W. nerds at Citi Field voting headquarters
It seems the Mets had tried everything to get David Wright his rightful starting 3B spot at this years All-Star Game at Citi Field.  The team deployed an in-stadium campaign, discounted Mets tickets, a campaign bus, a #VoteWrightNow Twitter campaign and even considered a cougar dating website cross-promotion.  Despite the enormous efforts, Wright still found himself trailing Pablo Sandoval last week. That's when the Mets finally decided to take the gloves off.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Foreigner and Nas Among Those Headlining 2013 Mets Summer Concert Series

Summer's nearly here, baseball is getting into full swing, and the Mets are bringing live music to Citi Field to start the summer right! Last year the Mets held their first summer concert series, where bands such as REO Speedwagon, Cheap Trick, and MercyMe followed Mets games. It was a great success for the Mets, so they're doing it again this year with bigger and better musical acts.

Foreigner, one of the biggest selling rock bands of all time (80 million records) is leading off the Mets 2013 summer concert series on Friday, June 14th, immediately after the Mets vs. Cubs match-up. They remain a huge draw worldwide, known for classic songs such as “I Want to Know What Love Is,” “Hot Blooded,” “ Cold As Ice,” and "Jukebox Hero."

We scoured the web to find the best overall deals combining ticket price an seating location for this game and all other Mets Summer Concert Series games this season. Currently, the best deal on the market to see this storied rock band along with a great game vs. the Cubs is $55 for Right Field Reserved.

Click here to get your tickets (direct from the Mets) to see Foreigner + the Mets vs. Cubs on Friday, 6/14.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Confused Mets Accidentally Draft Dominic Toretto

"I'm just trying to take this all a quarter mile at a time."
OK so maybe they actually drafted Dominic Smith, but I have it on good authority that his contract will include a clause allowing him to have any beer he wants as long as it's a Corona.


Monday, June 3, 2013

Mets Fans Left To Contemplate The Aftermath Of "The Teal Wedding"

WARNING: The following post contains spoilers from last night's episode of HBO's Game Of Thrones. If you have not yet watched it you may want to stop reading here.  Also, if you don't watch Game of Thrones this probably isn't for you either. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Nights Like This Just Make Me Want To Watch That Yankees Fan Gif Over And Over Again...

Yeah you know the one. 2010 ALCS Game 4. The Yankees fans in right field beat Nelson Cruz of the Rangers to a home run ball and then proceed to hurl feces at him in a display of dominance...at least that's how I remember it.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Kevin Burkhardt Acknowledges Captain Shorts On Mets Broadcast!

Last night following the Mets victory over the Yankees, SNY's Kevin Burkhardt made what I can only assume is the first ever "on-air" mention of Captain Shorts.  Check out the video:


Even though Kevin called him "the man in the shorts", we all know what his real name is.

In honor of this momentous occasion, all remaining inventory of Captain Shorts t-shirts are now only $10.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Buy New York Mets Tickets

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Mets Banner I Didn't Get To Bring To Banner Day

While it was a good move on the Mets part to give the fans what they wanted, moving Banner Day to a Saturday on a holiday weekend made it impossible for me to get out of work commitments and attend what looks to have been a great Banner Day.  But I did have a banner designed for the event and had I been able to attend I would have been proudly marching with this:


No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Buy New York Mets Tickets

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Scott Atchison Using "Old Man" Appearance To Land Endorsement Deals

"...and just like me, Anacin provides fast relief."
The first time you saw Scott Atchison pitch for the Mets this season you most likely had the same reaction I did.

Is that one of the coaches? 

At 37 years old Atchison is hardly an old man, but by MLB standards he is ancient. Combine that with his grey hair and well, you can see the jokes coming a mile away.

Twitter is full of jokes like this one:

Monday, April 22, 2013

Alex Rodriguez: Possibly Satan

The hit miniseries on THE HISTORY CHANNEL "THE BIBLE" has received some notoriety with some people thinking that the actor cast as Satan bore a resemblance to President Obama

But when you put Alex Rodriguez right next to Satan, and especially if you to imagine Alex in 30 or more years, do you see it?  After all, when healthy, A-ROD does play for the Evil Empire.

Perhaps we all see the evil in people that we choose to see.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets: Kevin KO's Dinger


Go get him, Kev!
"I just knocked out the Rockies mascot, back to you, Gare!"

Monday, April 15, 2013

Boston Marathon Explosions: How You Can Help

 (Photo: Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters)
If you're looking to help out the victims of today's attack in Boston but not sure how to help, here is a post from TakePart.com with some suggestions on how you can help.

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