Tuesday, August 20, 2013

SPECIAL REPORT: Suspended Mets Minor Leaguer Jordany Valdespin Has Been Living In Citi Field For The Last Week

Last week the Mets hosted a sleepover for about 400 fans. The event went off without a hitch, or so the Mets thought. Apparently, one of the "fans" in attendance was actually suspended minor leaguer Jordany Valdespin.

Groundskeepers discovered Valdespin while cleaning up after the event. According to witnesses, JV1 told security that he deserves to be at Citi Field because he is "the man right now and always" and that if this is the only way he can be here during his suspension then he will simply live in the outfield for the rest of the year.

Though originally upset with the Jordany's actions, the organization just decided to leave him out there, figuring that, like most children, he'd get bored and go home. After all, the Mets would be in L.A., San Diego and Minnesota anyway. The team even showed re-runs of Mets games from earlier this year to keep JV1 entertained, though they refused Valdespin's request to "only show the parts with me in it".

Many in the Mets office staff seemed to enjoy having JV1 around. Employees have been heading out to the LF seats during their lunch breaks and tossing breadcrumbs out onto the grass in an attempt to get him to emerge from his tent. However, with the team returning home on Tuesday the organization had to do something.

Later this morning the team will attempt to use a giant mirror to lead Valdespin safely to an area in the Mo's Zone where he can watch Tuesday night's game before being released into the wild on Wednesday.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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