Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mets Hire World Of Warcraft Nerds To Get David Wright Into The All-Star Game

W.O.W. nerds at Citi Field voting headquarters
It seems the Mets had tried everything to get David Wright his rightful starting 3B spot at this years All-Star Game at Citi Field.  The team deployed an in-stadium campaign, discounted Mets tickets, a campaign bus, a #VoteWrightNow Twitter campaign and even considered a cougar dating website cross-promotion.  Despite the enormous efforts, Wright still found himself trailing Pablo Sandoval last week. That's when the Mets finally decided to take the gloves off.

A S.F. Giants voting sweatshop overseas
Angered by whispers around baseball that the San Francisco Giants used converted overseas "gold-farming" operations to inflate Pablo Sandoval's vote totals last year and were doing it again this season, the Mets reached out to the only group they could find that could spend hours in front of a computer doing a repetitive and pointless task...World of Warcraft nerds.

As it turns out, it was a match made in heaven as the cash strapped organization was able to enlist the services of dozens of these nerds for nothing more than the promise of an endless supply of Bagel Bites, Doritos, something called Pocky, and of course Mountain Dew Code Red.

So far the tactic has been a success as Wright has managed to turn a 200K deficit into a narrow lead in just a week and is showing no signs of slowing down.

"I've never seen anything like this. These guys don't seem to need to sleep.", said Mets VP of Media Relations Jay Horwitz. "We just keep that Mountain Dew flowing and they keep voting. We may ask them to get Mr. Met in at first base just for laughs."

All-Star voting ends at 11:59 PM ET on Thursday July 4, 2013. Fans can vote for David Wright or any of their favorite players by clicking here.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.  Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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