- Screaming teenage girls would make it impossible for players to hear the fans booing them
- Having another Canadian around might be a morale booster for Jason Bay
- There would be one less lonely girl
- More games would sell out, granted many of the tickets would be sold to people who have never heard of baseball
- Just think of the elaborate dance routine Reyes and Bieber could come up with
- Would annoy players by constantly telling them about how he played hurt that time he broke his foot on stage
- All games would start no later than 5PM so as not to conflict with his bed time
- Use of the word "shawty" in and around Citi Field would increase by 5000%
- Three words: Mandatory Team Haircut
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple
No comments:
Post a Comment