Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Larry Smith: Where There's A Will, There's A Keith?

At a Silver Level press conference aired on SNY today Sandy Alderson announced the signing of a pair of spring training consultants for the Mets: George Will and Keith Olbermann.

Will, best known as a conservative columnist and TV pundit, has written books on baseball including "Men At Work: The Craft Of Baseball."

Alderson explained: "We are trying to do many things with this club including making it more cerebral. We have assigned George the task of working with our RIGHT handed batters and pitchers. We have worked out a deal with ABC News which permits George to fly back to NY on the weekends to do whatever that show is that competes with "Meet The Press."

Kevin Burkhardt, the Helen Thomas of SNY who always gets to ask the first question at televised pressers, jumped up to ask why Will, an avowed Cubs fan would come to work for the Mets in Port St. Lucie.

Alderson replied: "We wondered about that too, Kev. But George told us that 'any team that goes up against Washington 19 times a year is a team that I want to help any way I can'".

The GM added that Will's first official act as a Mets employee was to give the team the name of his optometrist. The plan is to fit Josh Thole with the same kind of glasses that Will wears. It is expected that the pitchers will then have more confidence in the pitches that Thole calls since he'll look like some kind of Ivy League nerd.

As for Olbermann, he's been hired to fire up the LEFTIES, both the pitchers and hitters.

Alderson explained: "As soon as we heard that Keith was placed on waivers for the purpose of his unconditional release by MSNBC we decided he was someone to look into. And with our financial situation we were buoyed by the thought that NBC News would be paying like 99% of his contract. We just have to pay the major league minimum for part-time spring training help."

Don’t be surprised to see the Mets’ lefthanded pitchers be more agressive “on the inside corner” against opposing righties.

Sandy did admit that Keith's checkered history with his past employers (ESPN, Football Night In America, and most recently MSNBC) made them a bit trepidacious about the hiring.

“The truth is we weren’t sure about hiring Keith until we had a phone interview with him yesterday. Early on he won us over when he called Chase Utley ‘THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!!!’ ”. 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Story by Larry Smith.  You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight

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