Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Daniel Larusso's Gonna Fight...For A Spot In The Mets Outfield

Willie Harris, Scott Hairston and now Daniel Larusso.  In keeping with their recent trend of signing anyone and everyone affordable who might be able to help in the outfield, the Mets have extended a spring training invite to fictional character Daniel Larusso.

The oft-injured Larusso is expected to compete for a spot in the crowded Mets outfield.  Though not possessing much skill or coordination, Larusso's biggest asset seems to be his incredible tolerance for pain and his ability to recover quickly from a beating.

While most experts seem to feel that he has no shot to make to the team, former competitor Johnny Lawrence begs to differ.  "He's alright.", Lawrence told The Apple.  He then went on about defeat and a dojo but frankly we lost interest.

The Mets front office seems enamored with Larusso's sabremetric statistics.  Apparently his AWAR or Ass Whuppings Above Replacement is off the charts and his ability to wear giant 80's shades is also impressive.

Despite a recent bike accident, Larusso is expected to report to spring training on schedule.  Fortunately he did not injure his throwing hand in the fall.  We have received no word as to whether Elizabeth Shue will be making the trip to Port St. Lucie.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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