Postcard From The Edge: Oliver Perez Checks In With The Apple

We make a lot of jokes about Oliver Perez here at The Apple, but a lot of you may not know that Ollie is actually a good friend of The Apple.  In fact it has been documented that I am one of the 6 people in the world who owns an Ollie P jersey.  During the offseason, Ollie checks in with us frequently via text and email. 

Yesterday we received a postcard from our favorite pitcher and we thought we'd share it with you in hopes of showing the world a more human side of Oliver Perez.  For the record, Ollie writes me in Spanish but I will translate to make it easier.

Randy,

How are you?  Are you excited for Opening Day?  I am working hard here in Mexico and I think I am making great improvements.  Yesterday I threw a no-hitter.  well, sort of.  You see, I walked 36 guys in a row and then they called the game due to darkness.  I'm not sure if that is a no-hitter but either way my stuff was unhittable.  Doctors even said that the fan in the third row that I beaned will make a full recovery.  Culiacan is nice, but I can't wait to get back to the bullpen at Citi Field.  The bullpen bench here is not padded and gives me splinters.  Also the hotels and restaurants here are not exactly the quality that a millionaire like myself is accustomed to. I have to go now. The manager wants me to throw BP now that the new screen to protect the hitters has arrived.  

Your Friend,

Oliver

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.  Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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