Thursday, January 20, 2011

Chris Young Passes State Of The Art Mets Physical

Earlier this week, the Mets newest pitcher Chris Young met with the team's crack medical staff and passed their new state of the art physical exam.  The exam, administered by Dr. James Kildare consisted of a standard bleeding, followed by some leech therapy and concluded with some mild electro shock.  Young reportedly passed all tests with flying colors.

According to Kildare, Young is in the best shape of his life and was particularly impressed with his hydrodynamometer readings.  "This young hurler will be whipping that apple past the batsmen with ease.", said Kildare.

In order to keep Young in tip top shape, the doctor has put him on a strict regimen of 1 carton of cigarettes a day and a strict diet of little chocolate donuts and scotch. 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple


  1. Hey, that diet worked for the Babe. Also include a bout of syphyllis.


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