Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Apple Lays Off 500 Employees In The Wake Of Perez/Castillo Releases

Workers showing up for work at the satirical Mets blog "The Apple" received an unpleasant surprise when they were greeted by a sign in the window simply saying "GO HOME. YOU ARE ALL FIRED".  According to sources, the release of it's two favorite punching bags Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo has left The Apple without any material.

Site founder Randy Medina insists this is only a temporary setback.  "We can probably skate by with Madoff stuff until April.", said Medina.  "Then the season will start and Keith Hernandez will start opening his mouth and we'll be back in business."

As for the employees?  Medina says we shouldn't worry.  "Most of the employees we had to let go were fictional anyway.  The rest are guys like Larry Smith and Dave Brody who I don't pay anyway."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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