Friday, June 3, 2011

Mets Rename Home Run Apple To Compensate For Lack Of Power

Since May of 1980, the Mets Homerun Apple has popped up when a Met hits a homerun. From Lee Mazzilli to Gary Carter’s Opening Day HR in 1985, to Darryl Strawberry’s HR in Game 7 of the ’86 series to Mike Piazza’s city shaking HR on Sep 21, 2001, the Apple has come out of the Magic hat.

The Mets moved to Citi Field in 2009, complete with a new Apple minus the hat. It still popped out when a Met hit a Homerun.

All of that has changed this season. The fences are so far and so high, Dave Kingman would be popping up to short Left Field and Mark McGwire would be reaching for Andro before each at bat. Add the park’s horrendous dimensions to the fact that David Wright and Ike Davis are out, Jason Bay is considering a return to Canada and Hockey and Carlos Beltran is only 65-70 % of his former self, and you know why the Homerun Apple has been up as often as Oliver Perez last September.

Fred Wilpon beamed in 2008 about Citi Field’s Right Field walls and said it would cause more triples or as he called it, the most exciting play in baseball. Most baseball fans mistakenly thought that was the Homerun.
At the time this article was written Jose Reyes has as many triples (8) as team HR leader Beltran.

That is why the Wilpons have decided to rename the Homerun Apple…the Triple Apple!

From now on, whenever a Met hits a triple, the Triple Apple will pop up so every fan will know that the Mets are about to strand a runner on third!

According to Fred Wilpon: “We designed this stadium with the specific purpose of  killing David Wright’s power to right center field, so fans won’t miss him, wear out center fielder Beltran so fans won’t miss him, and let Reyes hit more triples so we can get more for him when we trade him”

I asked Fred what would happen when a Met hits a Homerun. He said ownership would deal with that if it ever happens again.  Perhaps we’ll just move the fences back into the seats

Jeff Wilpon was more direct. “ Chicks did the almost long enough ball, baby. Chicks did the triple”

New minority leader David Einhorn had this to say about the Triple Apple: “200 million only got me triples as part of my deal so I am happy. I have no say in the Apple naming but I do own a third of it.

The Triple Apple was a big hit with fans this week until something the Mets hadn’t accounted for, happened. (So what else is new?) . Jose Reyes lined in to the Wall of the Mo Zone. The ball bounced sideways and Reyes flew around the bases. As he approached 3rd,  3rd Base coach Chip Hale waved him home. The Triple Apple popped up! The scoreboard said TRIPLE, the 3,624 Citi Field fans went crazy and then, Reyes was thrown out at the plate. Sure, it was still a triple, but Reyes was out. 

Sadness came over the fans even as the mighty Triple Apple beamed with pride.

This was the most confused the Apple had been since it popped up for Robin Ventura’s Grand Slam Single.

So the next time you head to Citi Field, (Most likely in 2012) on your way to getting on the 2 hour Shake Shack line, glance over to the shiny Triple Apple and smile. If you are lucky enough to see it pop up, you have a 10% chance of also seeing a sac fly and a 5% chance of seeing a hit. Perhaps you might even pray for a wild pitch to get the run home.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Written by David Brody @David_Brody
Executive Producer
Elvis Duran and The Morning Show
Z100 New York 

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