Thursday, July 12, 2012

Mets GM Alderson Issues Bizarre Organizational Mandates For Second Half

The following letter has been found in the home clubhouses of all the NY Mets' minor league teams.

ORGANIZATIONAL MANDATES   -  effective JULY 12th, 2012

Hitters -

Please be advised that due to the big league's team lack of righthanded hitting we are putting a moratorium on batting lefthanded.

All lefthanded batters will cease batting lefty (an exception being made for when the opposing pitcher is right handed).

In other words, all lefties must become righthanded batters or switch-hitters.

Pitchers -

Any pitcher carrying an ERA above 4.50 must report to their respective pitching coaches for knuckleball instruction.

Those who show an aptitude for the pitch must also clear their offseason schedule since much of it will be taken up by a mandatory climb up Mount Kilimanjaro.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Story by Larry Smith. You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight   

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