Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
An Obituary For Mets Hopes
Posted by
Unknown
In Memory of
METS HOPES (1962-2011)
After a long lingering illness, Mets Hopes died in Queens New York in December of 2011.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
A Christmas Story: Deleted Scene
Posted by
Unknown
"A Derek Jeter autographed ball! How in the world did you get one of these?" |
12 Days Of Metsmas: Terry Collins is Home Alone
Posted by
Unknown
As if having Wally and Tim Teufel breathing down the back of his neck wasn't bad enough, Terry also has to watch out for that evil Tim Curry.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: Daniel Murphy Stars In A Christmas Classic...Die Hard
Posted by
Unknown
Terrorists have broken into Citi Field on Christmas Eve and are trying to steal what little money the Wilpons have left. Unfortunately for the terrorists, they didn't count on one thing: Daniel Murphy. Murph is determined to save the day and win back the second base job. One thing is for sure, it's a bad day to be a terrorist...and Justin Turner.
Monday, December 19, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: Scrooged
Posted by
Unknown
Unfortunately this movie doesn't end with Mets fans joining together to sing "Put A Little Love In Your Heart". Oh and it was the S.S. Minnow, James.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: Miracle On 126th Street
Posted by
Unknown
Six year old Susan has doubts about her favorite ballclub. Her mother told her the "secret" about ownership's money problems a long time ago, so Susan doesn't expect much from the Flushing nine. But after meeting a special knuckleballer (Robert Allen Dickey) who convinces her that he's the real thing, Susan is given the most precious gift of all - something to believe in.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: Sandy Alderson's Christmas Vacation
Posted by
Unknown
Sandy Griswold just wants a winning ballclub for Christmas. But with players leaving, injuries mounting and a cheap boss to deal with, is there really any way for him to pull it off? On top of all of that, Cousin Terry has shown up unannounced...
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: It's A Wonderful Life...As Long As You're Not David Wright
Posted by
Unknown
David Wright is down on his luck. His power has deserted him, his glove isn't what it used to be and his best friend left him to go to Florida. Wright is contemplating throwing himself off the Whitestone Bridge when he is visited by a guardian angel who shows him what it would be like for the Mets had Wright never come here. Sadly, it turns out the Mets actually would have done better without Wright and let's just say it doesn't end well for David.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: The Grinch
Posted by
Unknown
Day 2 brings us this Mets holiday classic. Fire away with your plot ideas. I promise I'll get to some more upbeat stuff on day 3.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
12 Days Of Metsmas: Jingle All The Way
Posted by
Unknown
With the holiday season upon us, I thought I'd try something a little different. For the next 12 days, I'll be photoshopping Mets personalities onto various holiday movie posters. Your job is to hit the comments section and tell me what you think this movie would be about. We kick things off with Jingle All The Way starring Fred & Jeff Wilpon. Go!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Ryan Braun: Carlos Beltran Selfishly Made Me Take Steroids
Posted by
Unknown
National League MVP Ryan Braun has suddenly found himself on the hot seat after testing positive for PED's. While many expected Braun to appeal the test, the Brewers star player is taking a surprisingly honest route and confessing to what we all knew to be true anyway: That Carlos Beltran forced him to do it.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Video: Sex, Violence & David Wright
Posted by
Unknown
I don't know how in the world Darren at The 7 Line found this but I'm glad he sent it to me. Apparently the Mets Golden Boy is into some very weird stuff. Be warned though, this video is very NSFW.
More videos from Chess Club Comedy here.
Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.
More videos from Chess Club Comedy here.
Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
League Of Vampires: "We Have Nothing To Do With The Mets"
Posted by
Unknown
Recently there has been a lot of talk among bloggers involving the Mets and vampires. So much so that the League Of Vampires called a press conference to set the record straight.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Lil' Murph's Diary: I'm A Trade Rumor!
Posted by
Unknown
Dear Diary,
This is a special week in offseason baseball. Mr. Alderson and some of his helpers have flown out to Texas to take part in the Winter Meetings. While other stuff is done I suppose, the winter meetings seem to be all about signing players who are free agents and making trades. There are a gazillion reporters and bloggers out there so trade rumors come flying out of that area like nobody's business.
This is a special week in offseason baseball. Mr. Alderson and some of his helpers have flown out to Texas to take part in the Winter Meetings. While other stuff is done I suppose, the winter meetings seem to be all about signing players who are free agents and making trades. There are a gazillion reporters and bloggers out there so trade rumors come flying out of that area like nobody's business.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Join The Apple At McFaddens NYC Tonight For The 7 Line's Calendar Release Party
Posted by
Unknown
Do you like drinking? Do you like pretty girls? Do you like drinking with pretty girls?
If you answered yes to any of these questions than why not come down to McFaddens in NYC (NOT Citi Field) for The 7 Line's Girls of Blue and Orange calendar release party. Several Mets bloggers will be in attendance as well as all 12 calendar girls. If you're keeping score at home that's 12 more girls than are usually found when Mets bloggers get together.
The entire staff of The Apple (me) will be on hand and I'll be signing your laptops, smartphones or printouts of any of my articles. See you there.
If you answered yes to any of these questions than why not come down to McFaddens in NYC (NOT Citi Field) for The 7 Line's Girls of Blue and Orange calendar release party. Several Mets bloggers will be in attendance as well as all 12 calendar girls. If you're keeping score at home that's 12 more girls than are usually found when Mets bloggers get together.
The entire staff of The Apple (me) will be on hand and I'll be signing your laptops, smartphones or printouts of any of my articles. See you there.
When:
December 3, 2011 9:00PM
Where:
800 Second Ave, Manhattan, NY 10017
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Recycled Apples: Omar Minaya's Christmas Album
Posted by
Unknown
I promise I'll get some new stuff up soon but for now here's something from the archives. Omar Minaya's Christmas album. See the complete track list here.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Nick Evans Sets Sail On A Mystical Quest To The Isle Of Tortuga...Or Possibly Just Joins Another Sub .500 Team
Posted by
Unknown
Avast ye mateys! It be my time to shine now! |
Friday, November 25, 2011
"Kick A Wilpon" Promotion Leads To Second Straight Black Friday Trampling At Citi Field
Posted by
Unknown
Just like last year, the New York Mets hoped to boost sagging merchandise sales at their stadium shop by hosting a black Friday sale early this morning. Unfortunately for the Mets, the results were similar to last year's debacle, sending several fans to the hospital.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
This Day In Mets History: 1621 - R.A. Dickey Creates The First Thanksgiving
Posted by
Unknown
On this day in 1621 R.A. Dickey brokered an uneasy peace between the Pilgrims and Native Americans. Though this peace would not last, many of the traditions celebrated at "The Great Dickey Feast" continue today. The holiday would later come to be known as "Thanksgiving".
Monday, November 21, 2011
Spot The Real Team Store Item Answer: Art Shamsky Bandages
Posted by
Unknown
Last Thursday I stopped by Citi Field to drop off some canned food to help the Wilpon Family have Thanksgiving dinner. (It's always important to remember the less fortunate at this time of year.) While I was there, I decided to check out what was going on in the Mets Team Store and that's where I saw these. Art Shamsky bandages. I couldn't believe these were real and apparently neither could you as 68% of you voting in this weekend's poll believed that a doctored photo of misprinted Mets beach chair was the real Citi Field Team Store item.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Can You Spot The Fake Mets Team Store Item?
Posted by
Unknown
Friday, November 18, 2011
50th? 51st? All That Counts Is That They're Doing Something Right...Right?
Posted by
Unknown
No Mets activity, no matter how small, would be complete without at least a little controversy. In all the hubbub surrounding the teams 50th anniversary plans, there has been some talk over what anniversary this really is. The Mets say it's 50 while others say it's 51. So who's right? Can it be both?
Thursday, November 17, 2011
T-shirt Design Suggests 2012 Mets Will Do Even More Bunting
Posted by
Unknown
I saw this in the Citi Field Team Store today. It appears Terry Collins is going to be so committed to the bunt in 2012 that he even had t-shirts printed up.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Touch 'Em All Mets Police, You Deserve It: Mets Bring Back Banner Day, Return To Blue & Orange
Posted by
Unknown
Shannon from MetsPolice celebrates the return of Banner Day |
Mets See Drop In Ticket Plan Renewals As Lazy Fans Don't Want To Do Math
Posted by
Unknown
According to sources within the Mets ticket office, shortly after announcing their new ticket plans for 2012, the Mets were inundated with angry phone calls from plan holders cancelling their tickets. The reason: this year's plan involves too much damn work.
Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert Status: Orange
Posted by
Unknown
Can burnt sienna be far behind?
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Apple Uncovers Discontinued Mets Ice Cream Flavors
Posted by
Unknown
Novelty ice cream flavors are all the rage in sports these days. The Yankees, Phillies and Eagles all have flavors available in regional stores. Disgraced Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky even had a flavor named for him which was pulled from the school creamery when it became apparent that he was a jackass.
This made me curious as to whether any current or past Mets players had any ice cream flavors named after them, so I called around to the major ice cream companies. As it turns out there have been several failed ice cream flavors based on the Mets. Here are a few:
Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert Status: Green
Posted by
Unknown
Jose is wearing green underwear today. All Mets fans are advised to stock up on duct tape and plastic sheeting...
Monday, November 14, 2011
New York Giants Players Blame Lack Of Focus On Jose Reyes Rumors
Posted by
Unknown
Yesterday in San Francisco, the New York Giants were defeated by the 49ers 27-20 and while there is no shame in falling to the now 8-1 Niners, many Giants players feel that off-field distractions may have cost them the game. One distraction in particular: the rumor that Jose Reyes had signed with Miami.
Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert Status: Purple
Posted by
Unknown
After a long day of unfounded rumors, La Melaza is rocking a more calming shade of purple...or maybe he's meeting with Colorado today? Freak out, everyone!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert Status: Pink
Posted by
Unknown
Looks like Jose is getting in touch with his feminine side today. Let's see what you guys can come with for this one...
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Caught On Tape: Fred Wilpon & Sandy Alderson Discuss Strategy For 2012
Posted by
Unknown
Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert Status: Red
Posted by
Unknown
Looks like JR is rocking red today. A simple clothing choice or something far more sinister? You make the call.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Introducing The Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert System
Posted by
Unknown
Are you like me? Do you wish you knew every ridiculous detail about Jose Reyes so that you can speculate wildly about what it could possibly mean about the shortstop's thought process? Of course you do. That's why The Apple has teamed up with the good folks at Hanes to bring you the Jose Reyes Underwear Color Alert System. Every day until something actually happens, I'll let you know what color underwear Jose Reyes is wearing that day (don't ask me how I find this out) and you guys can speculate in the comments section. The more ridiculous the better.
Today's color is Blue. Fire away...
Today's color is Blue. Fire away...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Jose Reyes Orders A Turkey Sandwich: Could This Be The End?
Posted by
Unknown
Breaking news from the Mets hot stove, The Apple has learned that Free Agent SS Jose Reyes ordered a Turkey Club at lunch today. While we cannot confirm that this means Reyes is leaving the Mets it certainly doesn't look good. To help us break down this breaking news we bring in SNY's Sandwich Expert Ted Berg.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Reyes Uncertainty Is Tearing Rocky Balboa Apart
Posted by
Unknown
Lost in the negotiations between Jose Reyes and the Mets is the emotional impact on the fans. Clearly this whole situation is tearing Rocky Balboa apart. Why would Reyes and the Mets intentionally do this to the Italian Stallion?
Friday, November 4, 2011
R.A. Dickey's Off-Season Workout
Posted by
Unknown
Now that The Apple has gained a small loyal following in the Mets blogosphere, new opportunities are beginning to open up for me. This past week, Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey invited me to come out to his secret training location in Russia and observe his workout. I was able to shoot some video. Enjoy!
The weird part is that I didn't add music to this. Dickey is just so awesome that this song simply plays from the heavens whenever R.A. works out. Fact.
The weird part is that I didn't add music to this. Dickey is just so awesome that this song simply plays from the heavens whenever R.A. works out. Fact.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Mets Eye Shorter Basepaths and Collision-Proof Fielding Zones In Next Round Of Citi Field Changes
Posted by
Unknown
On Monday October 31st the Mets made official their planned changes to the configuration of CitiField's outfield walls. They will be coming in, they will be getting lower, and they will become blue.
While this has caused some of the more mediocre pitchers on the staff to start looking for alternative careers it has put a toothy grin on the face of David Wright and Jason Bay, among others.
In general the reception this announcement has received has been so positive among depressed fans of the team that they have decided to take the next step in reconfiguring a ballpark that seems to be stacked against the home club.
We spoke to a high ranking club official who prefers to remain nameless but we'll call him Paul DePodesta.
While this has caused some of the more mediocre pitchers on the staff to start looking for alternative careers it has put a toothy grin on the face of David Wright and Jason Bay, among others.
In general the reception this announcement has received has been so positive among depressed fans of the team that they have decided to take the next step in reconfiguring a ballpark that seems to be stacked against the home club.
We spoke to a high ranking club official who prefers to remain nameless but we'll call him Paul DePodesta.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Mets In Talks With The Apple About Sponsorship Deal For New Seating Area
Posted by
Unknown
So yesterday I was minding my own business trying to enjoy my Halloween when my Twitter started blowing up with messages that basically said, "The Mets took your ideas.", "Congrats on re-designing Citi Field." and the one that made me cringe "Thank you for getting us blue walls." Apparently, the Mets had announced new dimensions and people were congratulating me for some reason.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Clubhouse Of Horror: David Wright's Revenge
Posted by
Unknown
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