Kevin Burkhardt Acknowledges Captain Shorts On Mets Broadcast!

Last night following the Mets victory over the Yankees, SNY's Kevin Burkhardt made what I can only assume is the first ever "on-air" mention of Captain Shorts.  Check out the video:


Even though Kevin called him "the man in the shorts", we all know what his real name is.

In honor of this momentous occasion, all remaining inventory of Captain Shorts t-shirts are now only $10.

No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets: Kevin KO's Dinger

Also, if this game goes to the 11th, I'm going to punch Dinger in the face, just because.
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) April 17, 2013

Go get him, Kev!

"I just knocked out the Rockies mascot, back to you, Gare!"

Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets: Christmas Edition

Today on Twitter, Kevin professed his love for Run DMC's holiday hit "Christmas In Hollis"...

Merry Christmas!My present to you is my fave Holiday song ever. youtube.com/watch?v=OR07r0…
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) December 24, 2012

But what you may not know is that for a brief period in the late 80's, Kevin Burkhardt was an actual member of the group. Here's the proof:

Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets: The Loch Ness Monster

Time once again to play Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets! Tonight Kev tweeted this...

Better odds: Mets score 3 runs or the Loch Ness Monster leaps out of Flushing Bay?Just can't buy one right now.
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) September 13, 2012

So I have no choice but to respond with this...

Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Fun With Kevin Burkhardt's Tweets

Once again Kevin, if you are going to tweet this...

After all these years I finally caved and ate @skyline_chili. Have to say, pretty tasty!
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) August 15, 2012

...then I have to post this picture of the aftermath.

"I'm still in the bathroom. Back to you, Gar."

Kevin Burkhardt Returns To Mets Broadcast After Taking Time Off To Film Zoolander 2

As many of you have noticed, everyone's favorite Mets roving reporter has been missing in action for the past week, replaced by some guy named Eamon Shumpert or something like that.  Well have no fear Mets fans, Kevin Burkhardt has indeed confirmed that he will be back with the SNY team tonight in Atlanta.  But where was he and what was he doing this past week?  The Apple has the exclusive answers.

Will Kevin Burkhardt Ever Learn?

Once again Kevin, if you are going to tweet stuff like this:

@jrauch60 just gave me a great back crack, and was nice enough not to break me in half.
— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) June 26, 2012

I have no choice but to post this:

Would Ridiculous Facial Hair Work For Other Mets Like It Did For Dillon Gee? Lets Find Out...

When Dillon Gee showed up to Spring Training this year with a small woodland creature on his chin, many fans and teammates laughed.  After his hot start on the mound though no one is laughing anymore. But is there any direct correlation between the new beard and the improved pitching? Does it matter?  Of course it doesn't matter, this is New York, where logic and reason have no place in sports discussion.  So with that being said I pose the question, would other Mets players be improved with ridiculous facial hair?  Lets take a look.

12 Days Of Metsmas: Scenes From A Mets Christmas Story

"How about a nice futbol?"

SNY Renews Kevin Burkhardt But Cancels The Mets

It is October, a time when TV networks realize that their brilliant ideas of just a few months ago have turned into shows that nobody really cares about.  Ask the folks at "The Playboy Club" and Hank Azaria's amigos at "Free Agents".  They have been pink slipped already. (Wait, is that a pun regarding the Playboy show?)

The Apple has learned that due to failing ratings during the 2011 baseball season, sports network SNY has decided to discontinue carrying games in the upcoming 2012 season.

Mets Quiet Hero Marches Towards Date With Destiny

As the season comes to a close this afternoon at Citi Field, all eyes will be on Mets shortstop Jose Reyes and his pursuit of the NL batting title. But quietly, behind the scenes, another member of the Mets family is chasing history and if he can make it through Wednesday's broadcast without snapping at an idiot fan, SNY's Kevin Burkhardt will break a record that has stood for over forty years.

Time For Another Episode Of "Fun With Real Kevin Burkhardt Tweets"

If Kevin is going to tweet about his morning jog on the beach:

Then I am obligated to post a picture of his post-run frolic with Apollo Creed:

Mark Sanchez's GQ Photo is Bad...But Kevin Burkhardt's Is Worse

 

Sure Mark Sanchez's GQ photo shoot was cringe-inducing, but I can't believe so many of you are letting Kevin Burkhardt off the hook for his. 

Mets Step Up Field Level Security During Half-Price Ticket Promotion

"May I see your ticket stub? You have 15 seconds to comply"

It's no secret in NY that the Mets are having a hard time drawing fans to Citi Field this season.  Despite a scrappy team of young players, fans are staying away from the ballpark in Flushing.  In hopes of coaxing more people to the ballpark the team has been offering half-priced tickets for this week's games.  Unfortunately, this kind of promotion can also have a negative effect on your season ticket holder base.  However, the Mets say they were prepared for that this time.  This is where USH-209 comes in.

Kevin Burkhardt Tells The Apple He Would Accept Trade To Yes Network

Apparently K-Rod isn't the only member of the Mets with his sights set on the Bronx.  Just hours after the Mets had taken two of three from the defending AL champs, SNY star Kevin Burkhardt told The Apple that he would be fine with a trade to the rival YES Network even if it meant a diminished role.

The Fans Have Spoken: Ike Davis Defeats Kevin Burkhardt To Claim Spot On The Apple Subway

The votes have been counted and Ike Davis has been selected to replace Angel Pagan on the 7 train at the top of the page.  While Ike's landslide victory wasn't exactly a surprise, what was surprising was the fact that Kevin Burkhardt finished second place in the voting.  Is Kevin really the second most popular "Met" of this group?  What does that say about this team?  You know what, I don't think I want to know the answers to those questions.  Enjoy the new header.  More changes coming soon when all the rest of those guys get traded.

Happy Birthday Kevin Burkhardt!

The Apple would like to send out warm birthday wishes to our favorite target, SNY's own Kevin Burkhardt.  Happy Birthday Kevin.  We weren't sure what to get you to mark the occasion so we reached out to one of your co-workers and he helped us come up with something.  Enjoy your cake Kevin.  We dare you to ever look at cake the same way again.

 

Kevin Burkhardt Needs To Be More Careful What He Tweets

SNY frontman Kevin Burkhardt should know better by now that if he's going to insist on tweeting things like this:

My son has pajama day at school. I'm pretty sure I'm going to emulate that at home...less than a minute ago via TweetDeckKevin Burkhardt
KBurkhardtSNY

I have no choice but to post this:

 

Nice feet Kev, though Rex Ryan probably would disagree.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

SNY To Air 24 Hours Of Kevin Burkhardt This Christmas

SNY knows you can't get enough Kevin Burkhardt and not wanting anyone to feel neglected over the holidays the network has announced that starting at 8PM on Christmas Eve they will air 24 hours of Burkhardt programming.

The majority of the show will feature Burkhardt sitting by the fire and telling stories about his experiences with the Mets in a calm soothing voice while the New York Philharmonic plays Christmas music softly in the background.

Aside from that, Kevin will also be conducting fireside interviews with Mets stars and celebrities.  The tentative guest list includes Fred and Jeff Wilpon, Johan Santana, Carlos Beltran and Andy Dick.

The highlight will come at midnight on Christmas Eve when Burkhardt will read Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" while sipping brandy by the fire.

Kevin Burkhardt's 24 Hours of Christmas begins on Friday night at 8PM.  Set your DVR's now.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Did SNY Disrespect Sandy Alderson During His Interview On Mets Hot Stove?

OK SNY, we get it.  Kevin Burkhardt is your star.  You don't have to keep hitting us over the head with him.  Fans tuning in to watch new Mets GM Sandy Alderson's interview on Mets Hot Stove this week were shocked to find that the interview centered almost entirely around Burkhardt.  Here's a clip:


We can't help but feel like it was a little over the top but Sandy Alderson appears to be taking the whole thing in stride. 

"A successful TV network is one of the cornerstones of a healthy franchise.", Alderson told the Apple.  "Kevin is a big part of why SNY has been so good in these early years.  It's completely understandable that the network would want to showcase him as much as possible."

If you missed the interview, SNY is airing a rerun of Mets Hot Stove tonight at 6PM EST followed by an hour of footage of Burkhardt riding a horse on a beach.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.