The Original Mets Broadcast Team Reunites In Heaven (R.I.P. RALPH KINER 1922-2014)

Scientists Scramble To Unfreeze Huey Lewis In Time For Mets Concert Series

This afternoon the New York Mets announced their summer concert series. While the news was met with little enthusiasm from the team's fans, the announcement of a Huey Lewis and the News concert did send shock waves through the scientific community. The reason being that, possibly unbeknownst to the Mets, Huey Lewis has been in cryogenic hypersleep since 1991.

Video: Captain Shorts High Fives The Mets In A #CaptainShorts T-Shirt

Good Luck And Godspeed Marlon Byrd: May You Always Remain Equal To Or Greater Than The Word

For details on the Byrd trade, Click Here

Mets Turn To Tennis To Distract Fans From Harvey Woes

In hopes of distracting Mets fans from their latest injured star, the Mets announced today that John Isner, the highest ranking US participant in the US Open will be serving a first pitch from the outfield during one of their remaining games against the Phillies.

Isner, who has one of the fastest serves in all of tennis and has been red hot, beating all but two seeds above him this season. If he gets to the quarterfinals as is expected, he'll have to face #2 seed Rafael Nadal, who he has never beaten.

Unfortunately for Mets fans who love tennis, the team will not be in town during the second week of the Open when that match would take place. However, if you're interested in a Mets-US Open doubleheader to drown your Harvey sorrows, you've got three more days with both US Open tennis and a Mets home game.

To help you plan the week, the guys over at TiqIQ put together a link with tickets to all Mets games and US open tickets.  according to TiqIQ, Wednesday is the cheapest day with a combined get-in price of $41 for a day session at the Open and a Mets nightcap.

Dice-K: I Only Signed With Mets So I Could Meet Third Eye Blind

On Thursday, the Mets signed Daisuke "Dice-K" Matsuzaka, but don't go getting any ideas about the veteran right-hander contributing beyond this season.  Matsuzaka told reporters today he signed with the Mets for one reason only.

SPECIAL REPORT: Suspended Mets Minor Leaguer Jordany Valdespin Has Been Living In Citi Field For The Last Week

Last week the Mets hosted a sleepover for about 400 fans. The event went off without a hitch, or so the Mets thought. Apparently, one of the "fans" in attendance was actually suspended minor leaguer Jordany Valdespin.

Groundskeepers discovered Valdespin while cleaning up after the event. According to witnesses, JV1 told security that he deserves to be at Citi Field because he is "the man right now and always" and that if this is the only way he can be here during his suspension then he will simply live in the outfield for the rest of the year.

Jordany Valdespin: Jealous Mets Teammates Tricked Me Into Going To Biogenesis

Yesterday Major League Baseball suspended Mets minor leaguer Jordany Valdespin for involvement in the Biogenesis scandal. The 50 game suspension will be tacked on to any other suspensions he is currently serving for whatever asinine things he's done in the last week.

The Mets organization issued the following statement:

“We have and continue to support Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Testing program.”

In a statement he released last night, Valdespin maintained his innocence and blamed forces inside the Mets organization that he believes wanted him gone:

I'm Gonna Ask You This Only Once: Do You, Or Do You Not, Know About The Byrd?

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Buy New York Mets Tickets

Buy My Friend's Book!

David Wright Becomes Latest Mets Player To Go For A Drive On The Intercostal Strain

Valdespin Returns To Action With Slight Uniform Alteration

Monday was a rough day for Jordany Valdespin. First he was drilled in the tender vittles by a fastball and then ripped by his manager for not wearing his protective cup.

"Right out of the hand it’s like, ‘Oh, [bleep]! That is right at his [genitals].’ ”

-Tigers Pitcher Justin Verlander

On Tuesday, the Mets hottest hitter returned to camp sporting some new equipment mandated by manager Terry Collins. According to the Mets skipper, Valdespin will have to wear the full body cup "until he stops acting like an enormous [genitals]."

Meet Your 2013 Digital New York Mets

The 2013 incarnation of SONY's hit baseball video game MLB The Show hit store shelves this Tuesday.  For the uninitiated, the franchise is known for it's incredible attention to detail when it comes to capturing the atmosphere of our national pastime.

To achieve this, the developers spend a lot of time trying to create digital versions of your favorite ballplayers.

How'd they do?

You be the judge. Check out some of your favorite Mets side by side with their MLB The Show counterparts and then sound off in the comments section.

First Look At Mets 2013 Marketing Slogans

The Mets Marketing Department is hard at work again coming up with promotional materials for the fast approaching season.  Just like in past years, they have agreed to let The Apple publish some of their early ideas to see what my readers think.  Enjoy and let me know which you like best.  Don't forget to add your own ideas in the comments section.

Mets Fans Resort To Dog Costumes As An Alternative To Overpriced Tickets

Mets fans, want a good deal on Mets tickets? It's easier than you think, just be a dog. The Mets recently announced that the April 20th game against the Nationals will be a "Bark In The Park" date. Dogs can enter Citi Field for the bargain basement price of just $10. Humans will cost slightly more at $35. The price gap between man and his best friend has led some more intrepid fans to try a new way to see their favorite team.

Dressed as dogs, fans have begun showing up at the Citi Field ticket windows demanding $10 tickets for themselves.  Mets ticket agents were initially hesitant to hand over ticket to what were obviously humans in dog costumes but eventually they gave in.

Nick Evans Never Existed: Mets Say They Were Victims Of A Cruel Hoax

By now you've most likely read at least one article about the ongoing Manti Te'o saga. Hearing about this prompted me to do some digging into the Mets archives and what I've uncovered is shocking but not necessarily surprising.  Apparently, the Mets were either the perpetrators or victims of a similar hoax as recently as the 2011 season.

A check of the Mets record books shows that from 2008 - 2011 the team employed a player named Nick Evans. A check of Baseball Reference shows that this "Nick Evans" even compiled some statistics over that time period. There's just one problem. No one in or around the Mets organization has ever seen this person.

Mets Cave To Fan Pressure And Reschedule Banner Day...Sort Of

One year after a blogger campaign led to the return of Banner Day at Citi Field in 2012, the Mets have again listened to cries from the blogosphere regarding the scheduling of the beloved tradition.

Originally scheduled as a noon event on Sunday, May 26th, before a 1 PM game vs. the Atlanta Braves, the event's timing was thrown off when the game was chosen as the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball game of the week. This meant the parade of banners around the warning track would happen sometime before the 8:05 game.

Mets COO Jeff Wilpon: We Have Money To Spend On Free Agents...We Just Don't Remember Where We Put It

Mets fans have been frustrated lately by what they feel is hot stove complacency despite reports saying the team has money to spend.  If the team really does have money, then why haven't they made a move to fill one of their many holes? In an effort to clear up the confusion, we went right to the source, Mets COO Jeff Wilpon.

"The truth is we have money to spend.", Wilpon told The Apple. "The thing is, we currently don't know where we put it.  I was operating under the assumption that Sandy (Alderson) knew where it was, but he came to me looking for money for an outfielder last week and we realized we had a problem."

Mike Piazza Posts Crazy Hall Of Fame Freakout Video On YouTube...Well Not Really

Since failing to make the Major League Baseball Hall of Hipocracy Fame earlier today, Mets legend Mike Piazza has already had at least one fictional reaction attributed to him.

Personally, while I do not actually know what the real Mike Piazza is doing right now, I would not blame him for going all World of Warcraft Freak Out Kid on the whole MLB.

Mike Piazza  uses a TV remote to demonstrate what the BBWAA did to him.

R.A. Dickey Rips Into Mets In Rejected First Draft Of Farewell Letter

In Sunday's edition of the New York Daily News, R.A. Dickey talks to the fans of the Mets for the last time in a bittersweet essay. 

It is exactly the kind of classy and heartfelt farewell that Mets fans would expect from R.A. Dickey. But The Apple has done some digging and we've discovered that the lovely tribute was the result of many iterations of his address. We've uncovered his first draft which he penned just hours after learning of his trade to Toronto. In this version you'll see it's understandably more bitter and a good bit less sweet. Here's the complete first draft: