Nick Evans Never Existed: Mets Say They Were Victims Of A Cruel Hoax

By now you've most likely read at least one article about the ongoing Manti Te'o saga. Hearing about this prompted me to do some digging into the Mets archives and what I've uncovered is shocking but not necessarily surprising.  Apparently, the Mets were either the perpetrators or victims of a similar hoax as recently as the 2011 season.

A check of the Mets record books shows that from 2008 - 2011 the team employed a player named Nick Evans. A check of Baseball Reference shows that this "Nick Evans" even compiled some statistics over that time period. There's just one problem. No one in or around the Mets organization has ever seen this person.

Nick Evans Sets Sail On A Mystical Quest To The Isle Of Tortuga...Or Possibly Just Joins Another Sub .500 Team

Avast ye mateys! It be my time to shine now!

Everyone's favorite mystery man has signed a contract with the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The only question I have is: Has anyone seen @Miss_Met and is she OK?

The Apple Uncovers Discontinued Mets Ice Cream Flavors

Novelty ice cream flavors are all the rage in sports these days.  The Yankees, Phillies and Eagles all have flavors available in regional stores.  Disgraced Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky even had a flavor named for him which was pulled from the school creamery when it became apparent that he was a jackass. 

This made me curious as to whether any current or past Mets players had any ice cream flavors named after them, so I called around to the major ice cream companies.  As it turns out there have been several failed ice cream flavors based on the Mets.  Here are a few:

Lil' Murph's Diary: A Depressed Lil' Murph Writes To His Diary

Dear Diary,

Hi.  Remember me?  It's been weeks since I wrote and, to tell you the truth, it's because I'm a bit depressed.  My season is over and my stupid knee still hurts.  On the plus side I am getting darn good at hopping on one leg but don't think that that kind of running is going to get it done in spring training next February.

While I'm still super pissed about getting injured, what really has me bummed out is how all my positions are getting taken over by other guys.

Mets Walk-Off Win Sends The "Fan" Home Happy

Two games under .500 with less than a month to play in the season, it is no secret that the Mets attendance is down.  From giving away tickets to hiring Chinese actors, the team has tried many different things to help the situation.  However, on a night like last night, there is little you can do to put fannies in the seats. Combine the last place Pirates, inclement weather, a 43 minute rain delay and nine innings of scoreless baseball and you have the recipe for an attendance nightmare.

By the time the Mets came up to bat in the bottom of the 10th, the only fan left in the seats was Bruce Jensen of Middle Village, NY.  Fortunately, the Mets were able to send Bruce home happy when Nick Evans singled in the winning run in the 10th.

After the game, Evans spoke about the importance of Jensen's support.  "He was our 10th man tonight.", said Evans.  "It was quiet, so you could hear him cheering and shouting very clearly from the field.  I am just really happy we could pull this one out for Brucie."

Jensen will be back in his seat tonight when R.A. Dickey takes the mound against the Pittsburgh Pirates.  With a better weather forecast and no football to compete against, the Mets are expecting a raucous crowd of at least seven to eight thousand.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.