Monday, December 31, 2012

Mets Players Share Their New Year's Resolutions

"I resolve to make everyone forget Travis D'Arnaud, Josh Thole, and that other guy (you know, the one with the hair) whose name I have forgotten already." - JOHN BUCK

"I resolve to act like the 6'2" tall 205 pounder I am. Hitting just six home runs in a season is unacceptable.  Double digits here I come." - DANIEL MURPHY
"I resolve to play better defense in 2013 and to hit better.  Well, let's just say I resolve to hit better." - LUCAS DUDA
"I resolve to come out of any start by the time I reach 110 pitches.  I don't care if I'm pitching an all-strikeout perfect game. TAKE ME OUT!" - JOHAN SANTANA
"I resolve to be the pitcher I was in 2012 - not that other loser who stunk the three previous seasons." - BOBBY PARNELL
"I resolve to be the best owner I can be.  I will allow my GM the financial resources to field a competitive team and will not interfere in the day to day running of the club.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I probably will be the same tone deaf money-grabbing twerp I've always been." - JEFF WILPON
"I resolve to be the player I was AFTER the 2012 All-Star break - not the left-handed version of Jason Bay that I was in the first half." - IKE DAVIS
"I resolve to figure out who I am and how I landed on a major league roster." - ANTHONY RECKER

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry on Twitter @dr4sight.

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