Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Lil' Murph's Diary: Murph Gets Married

Dear Diary,

Your friend Daniel is no longer a happy-go-lucky single ballplayer but rather a married one.  Tori and I tied the knot about a week ago. So now I'm adjusting to married life.

The wedding was a lot of fun and I had a few of my Mets teammates there for support. Ike was there and so were Ruben, Josh Thole, and of course, my longtime buddy David Wright.

Josh was in a foul mood all day. It seems like every time he opens up a newspaper or goes on line he has to read about how terrible he was this past season and how the team is looking high and low for a catcher to either take his job completely or at least share it with him. I feel bad for Josh. He and I have a lot in common. We both hit lefty and don't hit many home runs. Josh's problem is that he also doesn't get many singles and doubles which is something - as you know - I'm quite proficient at.

It was also great having David at the wedding. Now I don't want to be too much of a spoiled sport about this but think that if I had just signed a deal for well over $100 million I'd give one of my best friends a lot nicer gift than a $12 toaster from Costco. Heck, Tori and I don't even eat that much toast.

Truth is that if I had David's money, I'd be paying for my best friend's wedding.

I would have invited some outfielder teammates to the bash except for the fact that our team doesn't seem to have any.

And I would have invited some pitchers except we hitters don't talk to them all that much except after they lay down a good bunt.

The highlight of the reception was when Tori tossed her bouquet. Usually, the other single women all scramble to catch it, but her toss was a bit off target. Out of nowhere, Ruben dove and snatched it just as it was scraping the floor. He hopped to his feet and in one smooth motion snapped it over to Ike.  A thing of beauty I tell you.

Now I won't get too lurid here, diary, because some of my entries find their way onto on-line rags like THE APPLE but....

One thing I am trying to figure out. You know that I'm a lefty hitter but a righty fielder.  Well now that I have a wife in my bed on a nightly basis I'm trying to figure out whether I'm a righty or lefty bedder. This is the decision of a lifetime and I'd hate to make the wrong call.

I was never the bigtime ladies' man that some of my teammates have been. Some of them (they tell me) are righty bedders, others lefty bedders, and a few claim to be switch bedders. I'll just have to let you know how it works out for me and my bride.

It's December now. Next thing you know it'll be Christmas and then two months later we're down in Port St.Lucie to crank it all up again. I'll try to stay in touch.

Your Friend,

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry on Twitter @dr4sight.

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