Sunday, December 23, 2012

R.A. Dickey Rips Into Mets In Rejected First Draft Of Farewell Letter

In Sunday's edition of the New York Daily News, R.A. Dickey talks to the fans of the Mets for the last time in a bittersweet essay

It is exactly the kind of classy and heartfelt farewell that Mets fans would expect from R.A. Dickey. But The Apple has done some digging and we've discovered that the lovely tribute was the result of many iterations of his address. We've uncovered his first draft which he penned just hours after learning of his trade to Toronto. In this version you'll see it's understandably more bitter and a good bit less sweet. Here's the complete first draft:

Dear Mets fans, 

So you couldn't wait to shove ol' R.A. out the door, could you?   What were we apart - $5 or $6 million over a two year extension?  Heck, the Dodgers (now) and the Yankees (every year except now) usually tip $5 or $6 mill if they like a player.  But not the Mets.   Of course, the Dodgers and Yanks play in big media centers with great TV network packages while the Mets..... hey, they do too.

Now I have to go endear myself to a whole new group of fans.  I'll have to learn to speak Canadian and to see if my knuckleball will work in a foreign country and inside a domed stadium.  It's like Kilimanjaro all over again.

But you had all sorts of money available for your Golden Boy, David Wright.  Didn't you, eh?  (Working on my Canadian accent already)   Actually I have no beef with your resigning David.  He's good people but so am I and now I'm off to the frozen north just because the front office - and ownership I'm sure - wanted to get their hands on some shiny baubles like the kid catcher and hotshot arm.   Let me tell you that there are plenty of guys in this game who can throw the ball 90 plus MPH but the idea is to get people out.  That's what I do.  Good luck if you're putting guys like Jeremy Hefner in my place.  You'll be missing me sooner rather than later.

Now I'm trying to look on the bright side here.  I'd sure rather be backed by an outfield of Melky Cabrera, Colby Rasmus, and Jose Bautista than the ragtag group I'm leaving.  Last I checked it was going to be Baxter, Duda, and Captain Kirk. Oh my.  Glad to be leaving that.

And I won't have to worry about being smooshed in the mouth by whipped cream pies from Justin Turner after I pitch one of my sensational complete games at Citi.  Hopefully the maturity level on my new team will be higher.

But I see it wasn't enough just to send me away to the Blue Jays.  One final zinger is forcing me to take Thole and Nickeas with me.  Now that's just mean.  I understand that someone has to catch my dancing pitch and that those two have that as about their only baseball skill.  But I was counting on all that additional run support while Josh and Mike won't help at all in that department.

I will miss the fans though.  I got them and they got me.  Baseball is a business I'm told and this was a "business decision".  Ptooey.

So in closing I'll draw on some political history.  Except when we might get together for inter-league games, "You won't have (R.A.) Dickey (Nixon) to kick around any more."

Best Regards,

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry Smith on Twitter @dr4sight.

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