Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Oy Bay: Mets Ask Jason Bay Not To Play On Yom Kippur Despite Not Being Jewish

The New York Mets have granted Jason Bay's request to not play during Yom Kippur. There's only one problem; the beleaguered Mets outfielder never made the request. Bay, who isn't Jewish, insists that at no time did he ask for the holiday off and has declared himself eligible to play against the Pirates. The Mets however are sticking to their guns.

"I'm pretty sure I have the request here somewhere.", Mets GM Sandy Alderson told reporters as he shuffled some papers around his desk. "In any event, he's out of the lineup today and we'll keep him out again tomorrow night just to be safe."

When asked when we could expect to see Bay again, Alderson replied, "Don't worry, we'll have him back in there Thursday...unless it's Ramadan? Is it Ramadan? Greek Easter? Dia de los Muertos?  Can somebody get me a calendar?"

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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