Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Message From Captain Shorts

Yesterday, I was pretty sure we had figured out the identity of Captain Shorts. I contacted the Mets and initially got no response but this morning a hand written note was left at my front door.  Allow me to share with you the contents of that note:

Dear The Apple,
Recently, you have been seeking to unmask Captain Shorts.  I am urging you to give up this quest. In the end it doesn't matter who Captain Shorts is.  All that matters is the message.  I'm going to show the people of New York that Citi Field doesn't belong to the inept and the corrupt. People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy. I can't do this as Mike Victorn or Kevin Kierst. A man is just flesh and blood and can be ignored or destroyed. But as a symbol... as a symbol, I can be incorruptible...everlasting.
Your Friend,

Captain Shorts
PS- High Five!

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

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