Saturday, May 21, 2011

Weary Jeter Looking Forward To Today's Rapture

While many people today are living in fear of tonight's predicted Rapture, one Bronx Bomber is welcoming the event.  Yankee Captain Derek Jeter spoke briefly With The Apple after last night's loss to the Mets and had this to say:

"Frankly I'm looking forward to the Rapture.  I've done just about everything there is to do on this planet.  Won a bunch of championships.  Dated a bunch of hot celebrities.  Seriously, what more is there to do? Hopefully after I ascend tonight I won't have to deal with the NY Media or A-Rod anymore."
 All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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