Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Mets Brass Looking To Hire Chinese Actors For Upcoming Homestand

It's no big secret that attendance is down at Mets games.  With the team languishing below .500 at the start of September, Mets ownership is preparing for the worse.  According to one source within the Mets PR department, the team has reached out to the same group of Chinese actors who so skillfully impersonated North Korean fans at this summer's World Cup in South Africa.

"We have to be honest with ourselves.", says an unnamed Mets executive who we'll simply refer to as Jay H. to protect his anonymity.  "The competitive part of our season is over.  If we don't do something we'll be looking at an empty ballpark in September.  The Phillies are coming to town and we saw a potentially embarrassing situation developing."   So why doesn't the team simply give the tickets away to fans?  "We actually tried that.  Right now most of our fans are not returning our phone calls.  This was just easier."

Chinese actor Jiang Wenli welcomes the opportunity.  "We are excited to broaden our horizons and bring our unique skill to the West.", says Wenli.  "We have already been contacted by the NJ Nets, the NY Islanders and the WNBA."

At least one member of the Mets front office approves of the move.  "I got a chance to see what they can do at the World Cup and I am excited.", says Mets GM Omar Minaya.  "These guys can cheer for you in so many different ways."

Fans hoping to join Jiang Wenli at the ballpark this weekend can purchase tickets from or 718-507-TIXX.  The Mets ticket office says there are a lot, and we mean A LOT, of good seats still available.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.


  1. "We have already been contacted by the NJ Nets, the NY Islanders and the WNBA."

    You forgot to mention being contacted by the NJ Devils for their playoff games.....BAZINGA!

  2. the devils sold out all of there playoff games last year. how many did the rangers?

  3. The only time they sell out their games is when the Rangers creep into that pit. It's EMBARASSING!


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