Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Move Over Moneyball, Mets GM Invents Dinnerball

The Mets, the masters of looking like they're ready to do SOMETHING and never really doing anything, have topped themselves recently. Perhaps they fell into this by design or maybe it was just dumb luck. In any case it has evolved into a plan that will go into high gear next off-season.

The internet is buzzing over the fact that recently Sandy Alderson had a dinner with super-agent Scott Boras and one of his high profile clients, OFer Michael Bourn.

Now we serious Mets fans know that there is no way in H-E double hockey sticks that the Mets are going to shell out big big bucks for a free agent outfielder. They'll have one of their classic excuses at the ready.  Here are just some of them.

--He wanted more years than we were prepared to give.
--His price tag is too high.
--He'll cost us a first round pick.
--He has a cousin who was caught heisting a can of Altoids at the local Walmart.
But here's the beauty of the ruse. Many Mets fans are excited that this dinner took place. I even wonder whether Sandy offered to pay for the dinner (or maybe just to leave the tip).

So seeing the roiling effect this has caused the plan being put in place now calls for the Mets to wine and dine every big name free agent next off-season J.P. Ricciardi has been tasked to find restaurants using Zagats and/or Yelp. Meanwhile Paul Depodesta will be looking for discounts on Groupon.

Just think about how excited we'll all be when our GM takes Robbie Cano or Martin Prado out for a meal.

Of course, while our collective mouths water over the prospect of signing these impressive players the guys brought in will likely be the Colin Cowgills and Andrew Browns of next year's crop....right until the "shelf is empty."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow Larry on Twitter @dr4sight.

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