Friday, July 23, 2010

Manuel Plans To Release Book After His Mets Career Ends

Jerry Manuel is on the hot seat and he knows it.  It’s no secret that the Mets manager has fallen out of favor with the fans.  Some would argue he was never in their favor to begin with.  With the writing on the wall, Manuel has quietly started planning his next moves for life after the Mets. Part of these plans includes a book which Manuel hopes will help future managers learn and utilize his unique style.

Traveling with the team, The Apple’s Larry Smith was given a sneak peak at Manuel’s book. Actually he broke into Jerry’s hotel room but let’s not split hairs.  Regardless of how we obtained them, The Apple is pleased to present excerpts from The Baseball Manuel by Jerry Manuel. 

CHAPTER ONE - LINEUP PREPARATION
If someone is injured or needs a day off, his replacement must bat in the same slot in the order regardless of his skill or lack thereof.

CHAPTER TWO - WHEN PLATOONING IS REQUIRED AND WHEN TO IGNORE IT
When you are selecting a pinch-hitter it is required that you put up a lefty batter to face a righty pitcher and vice versa.  This is crucial and don't be swayed by the results these batters have had against each other in the past or if one batter is dramatically better than the other.

CHAPTER THREE - USE OF YOUR CLOSER
You must ALWAYS use your closer in all save situations.  Do not be swayed by the quality or the handedness of the batters coming up.  And do not be fooled by the results that your pitchers had in innings 7 or 8.  The 9th is totally different.  Only your closer can handle the 9th.  He should be able to handle any one or two run lead you hand him. 

CHAPTER FOUR - PADDING A LEAD
It is poor sportsmanship to try to add to a lead in the late innings.  All pinch-hitting is banned unless you are batting for the pitcher in preparation of bringing in your closer. (See Chapter 3)

If, despite this admonition, you attempt to pad your lead be careful to employ only one run strategies.  Be prepared to sacrifice as many outs as possible so as to score no more than one run. (See Chapter 5)

CHAPTER FIVE - BUNTING WITH POSITION PLAYERS
Any player who does not average 20 or more homeruns in a season is a candidate to be asked to sacrifice.  Do not be swayed by their established inability to successfully bunt.

You have 27 outs at your disposal.  That's plenty.  Don't be afraid to give several of them away in an attempt to move a runner into scoring position.

The bunt, freely giving up an out, is a far better strategy to employ than having a good base stealer try to swipe a bag.

CHAPTER SIX - DEPLOYMENT OF INJURED PLAYERS
If a player is injured but not on your disabled list you should not use him in a game under any circumstances.  Even if his injury is to an upper extremity such as a finger, do not use this individual. Not even to pinch run.

CHAPTER SEVEN - MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR BULLPEN
At any one time some of your relief pitchers will be throwing well while others will not be.  It is crucial that you only utilize the ones who are pitching effectively and pitch them at every opportunity.  Occasionally this will result in their joining the group of pitchers who are not pitching well.  When this occurs you may totally ignore them and try to find someone else to ride.  Rinse and Repeat.


The Baseball Manuel, which also features a profanity laced foreword by Ozzie Guillen, is currently scheduled to hit store shelves on October 4th, but reports say the release date could be pushed up at a moments notice.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. The Baseball Manuel written by Larry Smith and Randy Medina.

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