10 PREDICTIONS FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE 2010 METS SEASON
10) The Mets Will Trade For Roy Oswalt. Upon arrival, he will be demoted to the bullpen to free up a spot in the rotation for John Maine.
9) Oliver Perez will make his triumphant return to Citi Field…as a wiffle ball pitcher in Kiddie Field. He will be released in September after numerous complaints from the children about his wildness.
8) Nelson Figueroa will release a tell all book about the Mets. And just like everything else Figgy does, no will care.
7) While on the road, Fernando Nieve will take a late night cab ride to get Latin food. Unfortunately, he will return unharmed.
6) The Mets will wear black armbands in September after Jerry Manuel finally kills one of his relievers by working them to death.
5) The flag waving attendants in the Citi Field parking lot will finally admit that they are useless.
4) Due to budget cuts by the MTA, the 7 Train will no longer stop at Willets Point. The train will now only slow down enough to give Mets fans the opportunity to “jump for it”.
3) McFaddens Citi Field will introduce a new drink named after Mets outfielder Jason Bay
2) Just to piss off the Yankees, the Mets will announce they intend to “win it all” to honor George Steinbrenner.
1) In order to afford to bring on extra salary. Fred Wilpon will take on a second job...as a peanut vendor.
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.
"Unfortunately, he will return unharmed."
ReplyDeletelol
Those flag-waving attendants kill me. I think they had David Patterson conducting traffic the other night....they just wave a flag and get in the way. No one pays attention to them which is why there are so few accidents.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for #2.
ReplyDelete