Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wilpon Hopes Nigerian Business Partner Can Put An End To Mets Financial Woes

It's been a tough couple of years for Fred Wilpon.  First he got burned by Bernie Madoff, then Spongetech, and most recently Madoff again.  While Wilpon insists this has nothing to do with the Mets, many fans feel that the team has suffered from the shockwaves of the owner's failed business dealings.   Wilpon hopes that speculation can begin to be put to rest today.

On Wednesday morning the Mets held a press conference to announce a new business partner.  The conference, a silver level event, introduced the press to Dr. Clement Okon, a deposed Nigerian Prince and top official of the Nigerian Government Contract Review Panel.

According to Wilpon, Okon will infuse the Mets with a hundred million dollars of additional spending flexibility and will allow the team to aggressively pursue top free agents in the off-season.  The funds will be available as soon as Wilpon wires Okon ten million dollars to cover a few legal costs involved with getting the money released.

Clement left the conference quickly once the deal was signed off on and was unavailable for comment.

Some Mets employees remain skeptical.  Speaking under the condition of anonymity, one employee told us, "I'm pretty sure it's a scam.  We have a guy who works here who was born in Nigeria and when he offered a traditional greeting, the guy had no idea what he was talking about.  Also I'm pretty sure that important Nigerian dignitaries don't ride around in a '94 Honda Accord with Maryland plates and a Nigerian flag taped to the door."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

2 comments:

  1. hahahahahahahahaha....just when I think this site can't get any funnier.....Can he pitch at all?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Joke's on Wilpon! Me and Okon already have a deal and I only had to send him $50,000! Won't he be surprised when he finds out that Okon promised to give me the money!

    ReplyDelete

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