Thursday, May 27, 2010

Oliver Perez Arrested In Sign Stealing Scandal

When the Mets go for the sweep tonight against the Phillies, they will do so without the "services" of Oliver Perez.  Last night following the Mets 5-0 victory over the Phils, Perez was approached in the clubhouse by two uniformed NYPD officers.  He was arrested and led out of Citi Field in handcuffs.   The charge? Petty theft and vandalism.

So what happened?  Apparently the Mets, upset with Charlie Manuel's recent accusations of sign-stealing, decided to see if they could actually steal the Phillies signs.  Oliver Perez was given the job.  It seems Ollie took the job very seriously even if he didn't quite fully understand it.  Perez went out to Willets Point and downtown Flushing and proceeded to steal every sign he could find.

"They wanted Phillies signs.", Perez told The Apple. "I didn't see no Phillies signs but I found One Way and No Right On Red and Railroad Crossing so I took those."


Perez was released on $100,000 bail which he apparently paid with some pocket change he had wedged in the cushions of his car seats.

Howard Johnson, the alleged ring leader of the plan to steal the Phils signs, told us he had a feeling that the whole thing was going wrong from the start.

"I got on the bullpen phone and asked Ollie what the sign was.  He said 'Yield'!"

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

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