Waterless Urinals: The Shocking Truth

With two games to get to today The Apple knows you don't have much time for hard hitting news so we will be brief.  Today we just wanted to share some horrifying news we received from one of our moles inside the Mets organization.

You've all heard about the waterless urinals at Citi Field.  Most if not all of our male readers have even made a deposit personally.  The Mets said they are there to save water and help the team go green.  But what you may not know is the real reason these urinals exist at Citi Field.  But first a little science.

In a nutshell, waterless urinals work by passing the urine through a sealing fluid.  The fluid is lighter than the urine so it passes right through eliminating the need for water.  Usually the urine proceeds to a waste drain but this is not the case at Citi Field.

Thanks to the diagram that was taken from Citi by our mole.  We can now see that after leaving the drain, the urine is split into two pipes.  One pipe pushes pure unfiltered urine directly to Shake Shack to be used in something called Shackmeister Ale.  The other pipe leads to a filtration system cleverly hidden inside the home run apple.  (At least we finally know why it is so huge.)  This pump filters the yellow stuff just enough to call it Budweiser, at which point it is pumped to various locations around the park.

Did you like that beer at Citi Field?  Good.  Because there is a good chance you may be drinking that same beer again in the near future.  Don't believe us?  See for yourself.

 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

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