A Brief Look Inside The Mets "Dynamic Pricing" Model

The plan for the Mets in 2012 is to lower ticket prices.  But the team has stated that it reserves the right to raise prices again for certain high profile games.

The Mets have allowed The Apple to take a peek at some of the early plans for alterations in ticket prices. These are unofficial at the moment but if the club can find an accountant to track all the possibilities it is expected that they will go into effect:

Parnell Admits He Has No Shot At Catching Mariano

The other day Yankees closer Mariano Rivera notched his 602nd career save making him the All Time saves leader in major league baseball.  You've probably heard about this? While many describe Rivera's achievement as inspirational, at least one Mets player felt the opposite effect. Once Mo pushed over the 600 saves mark it became clear to Mets "closer" Bobby Parnell that he would never attain those heights.

Larry Smith Sneaks A Peek At Sandy Alderson's To-Do List

A few weeks ago your intrepid correspondent got himself his first ever smartphone.  The one I replaced was so old that it had a crank on the side and connected to a party line (too bad you have to be my age in order to appreciate that joke).

Anyway these new fangled phones even have cameras in them.  Did anyone else know that?

Alderson Not Ruling Out Sedgwick As Possible Mets "Closer"

Judging by rumblings coming from inside the Mets organization, two things that have apparently become abundantly clear to both the team's fans and front office:

1) Bobby Parnell throws the ball hard
2) Bobby Parnell probably lacks the control, mental toughness, and other skills necessary to be "The Closer"

But his replacement may come from an unusual source. The Apple has learned that GM Sandy Alderson has sent feelers out to the agent of actress Kyra Sedgwick.

Larry Smith's Extra Innings Mets Musings

12-inning rain-delayed games like last night's Mets game have a way of making people snap.  Obviously, Larry Smith is one of those people because late last night during extra innings, Larry started firing thoughts at my inbox.  Here are the ones that were safe for publishing:

We know that many relief pitchers alternate good years with bad years.  It seems that Angel Pagan has fallen into the pattern of alternating dumb years with smart years.

2012's big baseball book/movie combo will be called:   MONEYLESSBALL:  How Fred Was Wilponzi'd

Bobby Parnell is being given chances to blow saves here in September so that he'll be fully prepared to blow saves for real next April.

Mets Photo Fun: Bobby Parnell's New HBO Series

Back From The Fringe: The Apple Spends New Years In An Alternate Dimension

I've never seen the show but those of you who watch FRINGE on Fox know that one of the story arcs involves a parallel universe with people occasionally passing over to it and returning. While I assumed that this was just sci-fi stuff , we decided to see if our intrepid reporter Larry Smith could go over and tell us about the state of baseball in that other universe. Incrediby, he did it and just got back. Here's his report:

I guess it should be to no one's surprise that we are definitely in the wrong universe to be Mets fans. On the other side the Mets, playing in their gorgeous new ballpark, Hodges Field, are a perennial powerhouse and make it to the playoffs almost every year. They sell out the place regularly and have a money stream that allows them to buy any free agents they want.  And they do all this while sporting epic parallel dimension goatees.

The team missed out on the 2010 World Series being defeated by their arch-rival the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Buccos, led by 3-time MVP Ronnie Cedeno (.347-22-110) and Gold Glove centerfielder Lastings Milledge were just too much for the Mets to keep up with in the NL championship series.

The Mets got another great year from Luis Castillo (.333-6-87-65 sb) and closer Bobby Parnell. Parnell still fools people. For a guy who can't get his fastball over 85 mph he just keeps racking up the K's with his offspeed stuff and pinpoint control. The starters were fronted by 19 game winner Oliver Perez. If he could ever figure out how to get lefties out he'd be just unstoppable.

It's not going well over in the Bronx however where their new ballpark, Bob's Discount Furniture Stadium, has cavernously deep fences and attendance is poor. The team hasn't made the playoffs in a decade and is in such a financial bind that the Steinbrenners (foolishly investing with Bernie Madoff) had to sell the team to .....James Dolan. So there is no end in sight for their misery.  If that wasn't enough, I really knew I was in a different universe when I head "lifelong Mets fan" Mike Francesa trashing the Bombers all afternoon on WFAN.

Finally before returning I tried to stop in to meet with media mogul Randy Medina. His office is on one of the top four floors of the Read-the-Apple State Building in midtown which THE APPLE ENTERPRISES INC rents out.  His phalanx of secretaries and junior executives successfully prevented me from getting in to see him. They did suggest however that perhaps I should go to talk to that newcomer Matt Cerrone over at that upstart and rarely visited website, Metsblog.com.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Randy Medina & Larry Smith.  You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight