The Mets have allowed The Apple to take a peek at some of the early plans for alterations in ticket prices. These are unofficial at the moment but if the club can find an accountant to track all the possibilities it is expected that they will go into effect:
PLAYER CONTINGENCY TICKET PRICE
Mike Pelfrey pitches -15% (Free aspirin for ticket holders)
R.A. Dickey starts +10%
Willie Harris starts -10%
Jose Reyes plays
as a visiting player +15%
Jose Plays Naked +50% for Ladies
Daniel Murphy starts normal price
Johan Santana sighted +5%
Johan Santana starts +20%
Bobby Parnell well rested
and probably will pitch -10%
Parnell tired
and unlikely to pitch normal price
Jason Bay in lineup
and hitting under .240 -5%
Bay in lineup
and hitting over .270 Get serious. Can't happen
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Story by Larry Smith. You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight
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