Larry Smith's Extra Innings Mets Musings

12-inning rain-delayed games like last night's Mets game have a way of making people snap.  Obviously, Larry Smith is one of those people because late last night during extra innings, Larry started firing thoughts at my inbox.  Here are the ones that were safe for publishing:

We know that many relief pitchers alternate good years with bad years.  It seems that Angel Pagan has fallen into the pattern of alternating dumb years with smart years.

2012's big baseball book/movie combo will be called:   MONEYLESSBALL:  How Fred Was Wilponzi'd

Bobby Parnell is being given chances to blow saves here in September so that he'll be fully prepared to blow saves for real next April.

Mets Blame Recent Poor Play On Loss Of Mike Nickeas' Hair

After rattling off six straight wins earlier this month, the Mets fortunes have taken a turn for the worse.  Many in an around the organization are looking for a reason.  Have the bats gone cold?  Has the manager not been pushing the right buttons? Have they used up all their black uniform magic?  While all of these theories seem plausible it is a theory coming out of the Mets clubhouse that might be the most telling.  According to the players, the team has become preoccupied with the absence of Mike Nickeas' hair.

Exclusive: The Apple Has Obtained Ronny Paulino's Blood Work

This could be a problem.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

Due To Visa Problems Mets Ronny Paulino Will Attend Spring Training Via Teleconference

Fitting in with a new team can often be difficult for a player in the Major Leagues.  The task is made doubly difficult when you are not allowed to be in the same country as your teammates.  This is the problem facing the newest Mets catcher Ronny Paulino.  Paulino's season ended inauspiciously last year when he was handed a 50 game suspension for violating the league's drug policy.  Now the Dominican backstop is having a hard time obtaining a Visa to re-enter the US, presumably related to the very same drug suspension.  In past years this may have been just another disaster for the Mets, but thanks to the Sandy Alderson regime, the team is making lemonade out of Paulino's lemons.

MLB Adds Charlie Sheen To List Of Banned Substances...Ronny Paulino Tests Positive

The MLB held an impromptu press conference on Wednesday morning to announce that they have decided to add Charlie Sheen to the official list of banned substances in baseball.  League officials touted the move as an effort to stay ahead of the ever evolving world of performance enhancing drugs.