Mets Blame Recent Poor Play On Loss Of Mike Nickeas' Hair

After rattling off six straight wins earlier this month, the Mets fortunes have taken a turn for the worse.  Many in an around the organization are looking for a reason.  Have the bats gone cold?  Has the manager not been pushing the right buttons? Have they used up all their black uniform magic?  While all of these theories seem plausible it is a theory coming out of the Mets clubhouse that might be the most telling.  According to the players, the team has become preoccupied with the absence of Mike Nickeas' hair.

While Nickeas as a player is little more than a decent backup catcher, his hair has quickly become the stuff of legends.  Once described by one player as, "What it would look like if Piazza's haur had a baby with 90's John Stamos' hair.", the catcher's coif became a focal point for his teammates.  When he was demoted to AAA, many on the team struggled with the loss.

"When we were down in a game, we would just look over at Mike's hair and we would just know that everything was going to be OK.", said David Wright.  "That feeling has been missing during these last few days."

Manager Terry Collins agrees.  "It's always a blow to a team to lose one of your emotional leaders.", said
Collins.  "But that being said we'll just need Jose's ridiculous dreads to pick up the slack.  I think we saw some of that on Sunday night in Philly."

When we asked new catcher Ronny Paulino if he intended to do anything special with his hair to help rally his teammates, he replied, "What the hell is the Apple?  What is wrong with you people? Is this what goes on in New York?"

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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