Mets Pitcher Pelfrey Visited Medium To Help With Pitching

That Mike Pelfrey had been pitching poorly represents a gross understatement and regrettably this downturn goes back to May of 2010.

We caught up to Mike in the Mets clubhouse before Thursday's game and he was candid about his level of desperation.

"I've tried everything that I can think of and have talked to every expert on pitching from Dan Warthen to Leo Mazzone to Dave Duncan. Nothing they tell me clicks. So I tried the other end of the spectrum and talked to guys like Ollie Perez and Mel Rojas. Still, I got nothing."

So what did you do? I asked.

"There's only one person who ever really understood what goes on in my mind.", Pelf confided. "Harvey Dorfman".

Dorfman, a renowned sports psychologist, died in February of this year.

"Yes, Mike, but you do know that Harvey is gone. You can't speak to him. You do understand that, don't you?"

Pelfrey said, "Desperate times call for desperate measures that's why after Friday's game I paid a visit to famed medium Allison Dubois. I was hoping she could help me contact Harvey. For sure he can get me straightened out."

I could see that Pelfrey was serious about this and asked how it went.

"First she ran into some Judge who gave his name as Crater. Never heard of him. And then she actually connected with (Harry) Houdini the great magician and escape artist."

I remarked, "I don't suppose he had any help for your pitching."

"No he didn't. But that son of a gun gave me a tip to pass on to Ike Davis about one kickass hidden ball trick."

I asked, "Did you get any useful help for your pitching?"

"Allison did find a couple of former pitching greats, Don Drysdale and Lew Burdette. She asked them what I might do and Drysdale said I have to pitch inside more and don't be afraid of hitting 30 or 40 guys per season. And Burdette wanted me to load up every other pitch with spit or Vaseline. Ughhh, that's gross. Really, that's no help at all."

What else, Mike?

"We're going to try again to locate Harvey the next time I'm in town. But there was one cool thing. It seems Princess Di really enjoyed watching the royal wedding from up there and generally likes the afterlife except for constantly being hit on by John and Teddy Kennedy."

We attempted to contact Allison for a quote but all she would tell us is, "For the last time I am Patricia Arquette! Please stop calling my house."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Story by Larry Smith.  You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight

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