Mets Reportedly Were Ready To Turn To Dildo Had Dickey Been Put On The Shelf

R.A. Dickey is going to make his scheduled start tonight, but according to reports, the Mets already had a backup plan had the knuckleballer not been ready to go.  Concerned that the injury Dickey sustained during last week's start would sideline him for some time, the Mets very quietly signed an unknown player named R.J. Dildo.

While just about everyone around Major League Baseball has never heard of him, Mets GM Sandy Alderson insists that he has a ton of video of R.J. in action.  Alderson went on to explain why Mets fans shouldn't even be concerned.

"The guy was never going to pitch for us.", Alderson told The Apple on Tuesday afternoon.  "We were simply going to call him up to fulfill the ridiculous name quota. Normally Duda does that for us, but they were shorthanded in Buffalo so we went outside of the organization.  Dildo was simply going to be here to fill a hole...wait don't print that last part."

With Dickey starting tonight, it would seem the career of R.J. Dildo is over before it ever started.  Even in the event that Dickey does end up on the DL, reports say the Mets are already in talks with I.M. McHugedong who was released by the Phillies over the weekend.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

Pin It