Beltran / Mets Hope New Charity Will Repair Broken Relationship

Sandy Alderson and company have made no secrets about their desire to repair the fractured relationship between the Mets organization and their center fielder.  On Saturday, Alderson met with Carlos Beltran at his in Puerto Rico to discuss a multitude of issues.  On Monday, the Mets announced that they will be joining forces with Beltran here in NY to open a new academy as part of the Willets Point Redevelopment Project.

The Carlos Beltran Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, or the C.B.C.F.K.W.C.R.G.A.W.W.L.T.D.O.S.G.T. for short, will be a full service academy focused on preparing aspiring students and ballplayers from all backgrounds for life in college and/or Major League Baseball.

When the students are not busy learning to "read good", there will be classes on a variety of topics such as learning to deal with the hyper-critical New York media, coping with booing, when to get a medical second opinion and what to do when a teammate is punching people in the family lounge.

Paul DePodesta, who joined Beltran at the announcement, feels that this is the first step in the right direction for both Beltran and the Mets.  "So much of what we have to do early on is avoiding the old mistakes and mending relationships.", said DePodesta. "This is a win-win for us.  Carlos gets to reconnect with New York and in the future, maybe we have a few less knuckleheads on the Mets."

The C.B.C.F.K.W.C.R.G.A.W.W.L.T.D.O.S.G.T. is currently scheduled to open it's doors in 2013 but may open sooner if the city can convince Vina Auto Glass to move.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. For info on the REAL Carlos Beltran Academy click here.

Mets Brass Finally Reaches Deal To Develop Willets Point...With A Catch

After months of legal wrangling, the New York Mets and the City of New York has finally come to an agreement with the shop owners on 126th street. The deal would allow the Mets to bulldoze the "chop shops" and redevelop the area in conjunction with the city.

But the deal comes with a catch. A few owners refused a monetary settlement and instead will have their shops moved inside Citi Field. Fans will now be able to get a hot dog, a beer and an oil change while they watch their favorite team.

Unfortunately for fans this means that some of their favorite attractions will have to be moved to accommodate the new tenants. The first to go will be the Touch Boutique which is already being converted into an auto glass and parts shop. Mr. Mets store will now be Ramirez 10 Minute Oil change and the Mamma's of Corona will now be Vina Tires and Realignment.

While some fans are thrilled others are not so happy. Tommy D. of White Plains is one of them and he spoke to the Apple, "I mean they gotta work that's fine, but my seats are right in front of one of these shops. There's going to be guys doing burnouts, ratchet guns going off and bachata music blasting all throughout the game. That's not cool"

As for the Mets?  They are busy making plans of their own.  The Wilpons have announced that the first project of the new development will be a four story shopping and entertainment complex.  The name?  The Pee Wee Reese Pavilion.  

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.