Happy Niese-ter Mets Fans!

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All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.

Mets Pitcher Jon Niese Rides Uniform Violations To Victory In Washington

Though no one at Major League Baseball would comment on it, Mets pitchers have been the target of a uniform violation crackdown in the last week. This is clearly part of a larger conspiracy to keep the Mets from finishing better than fourth in the division, thus preventing them from reaping all of the benefits that being a third place team entitles you to. While I'm not sure who would benefit from such a conspiracy, I can tell you one Mets player has decided to do something about it.

Mets Admit Johan Graphic Was Premeditated, Reveal Graphics For Future No Hitters

Of all of the secondary stories surrounding Johan Santana's historic no-hitter, the quick work of the Citi Field graphics department has captured the imaginations of many in the Mets online community. Did they have that No-Han graphic prepared before the game?  Did they make it during the game?  If so, when did they start working on it? Admittedly, I was just as curious as everyone else so I contacted the Mets graphics department and they spilled the beans.

Mets Opening Weekend Recap: Bloggers, Baseball and... Bears?

Photo by @ceetar

The Opening Weekend of the Mets season is over but it was a great weekend for the Metropolitans and a busy one for The Apple as well. Here's a look back:

Happy Niese-ter Mets Fans!

Mets Pitcher Niese Says New Giant Nose Improves Breathing, Distracts Hitters

When reports surfaced that Mets pitcher Jon Niese had undergone off-season rhinoplasty many assumed the pitcher had simply had his nose corrected to improve breathing and that the end result would be a more symmetrical, streamlined nose.  However Niese told The Apple today that, while he considered that approach, he ultimately decided to have it enlarged.

Happy Memorial Day From The Apple

Mets Blame Recent Poor Play On Youth Movent's Gaming Obsession

L-R Niese, Tejada, Davis & Pagan enjoy a round of Buzz trivia.

Odds are that as a Mets fan, you have already switched off the 2010 season and turned your attention to other pursuits.  Well don't feel bad about it because apparently, so have many of the Mets. 

A Mets employee who travels with the team tells the Apple that this new, younger group of players has turned their back on the traditional boozing and skirt-chasing of the previous generation's athletes in favor of video gaming.  The source tells us that when on the road, the younger players lock themselves away in their hotel rooms and take part in marathon sessions of games like Madden 11, MLB The Show, Rock Band and the trivia game Buzz.  While this may seem like a harmless pastime, people around the team are becoming concerned that the players are neglecting sleep, nutrition and basic hygiene.  

"I saw some of these guys in the elevator one morning in Chicago and it was clear they had been on the computer all night.", says Keith Hernandez who refers to playing video games as being "on the computer".  "These guys are not showing up to the park prepared because they are up all night playing Pac-Man.  It's a disgrace.  Whatever happened to just getting loaded, chasing women and passing out on the floor of your hotel room bathroom.  That's what we did in 86 and we won 108 games that season."

Angel Pagan, one of the biggest offenders, sees nothing wrong with it.  "We aren't doing anything illegal and it brings guys together.  I see no problem with it.", says Pagan. "Also, I'm 28 so I have to do whatever I can to present myself as part of the 'youth movement' around here.  I only have maybe one more year to still be considered young."

Some coaches may have seen the light as well.  Jerry Manuel was watching some of the guys play on Friday night and after seeing Luis Castillo go 3-4 with 2 doubles in Sony's MLB The Show, Manuel decided he should start Luis on Saturday.  Castillo went 0-2 and grounded into a double play.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.