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OK so let me make a confession. Starship Troopers is one my ultimate guilty pleasures. Yes, it's a glorified B-Movie. Yes, it has Neil Patrick Harris about 5 years before he was cool again. Yes, it "stars" Denise Richards but I don't care.
So the first time I heard that the Mets assistant GM was named John Ricco, the same name as the bug blasting hero of Starship Troopers, I couldn't hold back the nerd laugh. I figured this would pass but it hasn't. Every time I hear the guys name I crack up. Now he's in charge, well at least for a couple of weeks. So with the hopes of getting it all out of my system I give you Rico Vs. Ricco:
Lets meet the players.
JOHNNY RICO - Colonel in the Mobile Infantry
Played by - Actor Casper Van Dien
Fun Fact - Likes female pilots with huge lips
JOHN RICCO - Interim GM of the New York Mets
Played by - Himself and once by this guy.
Fun Fact - Name sometimes pronounced Rick-O depending on who you talk to.
Category 1: Resume
Rico: Once defeated an entire planet of man-eating bugs.
Ricco: Once announced a trade on SNY.
Winner: Col. John Rico - Fictional or not, defeating an alien army is going to win every time. The only exception would have been if Ricco had announced that the Mets had traded Oliver Perez.
Category 2: Rise To Power
Rico: Promoted after mercy-killing his commanding officer who was being eaten by a bug.
Ricco: Promoted after his boss was relieved of command by the team owner.
Winner: Col. John Rico - We all joke about shooting the boss. This guy actually did it. Though I'd like to think that if Omar Minaya was being consumed by a alien space bug he would have wanted John Ricco to put him out of his misery.
Category 3: Toughest Challenge
Rico: Stop an invasion of vicious gigantic insects from outer space.
Ricco: Decide what to do about guys like Jose Reyes and Hisanori Takahashi.
Winner: GM John Ricco - This is New York. I don't know about you but I'd rather face an army of killer bugs than a room full of angry Mets fans.
Category 4: Special Ability
Rico: Irresistable to B-Movie Actresses.
Ricco: Invisible To NY Press.
Winner: GM John Ricco - I was shocked that his picture is even in the Mets media guide. Don't believe me. Do a Google image search for "John Ricco Mets". The man is a ghost. That's not easy in this town.
Category 5: Likely Future
Rico: A horrible violent bug-related death.
Ricco: A quiet return to anonymity.
Winner: GM John Ricco - I always go with option that doesn't include being torn in half by an arachnid.
Winner?
While GM John Ricco apparently wins 3-2, I like to imagine a world where we aren't forced to choose. Why can't we simply combine the two into one ass-kicking, trade-making, contract signing killing machine. I'd like to think he would look something like this:
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