Minaya Gets Vote Of Confidence From An Unlikely Source

At least one potential free agent is backing Omar Minaya.  On Tuesday, Braves 3rd Baseman Chipper Jones called Omar "a shining light for veterans looking for bloated contracts." 

Though under contract with Atlanta through 2012 and seriously considering retirement, the Braves slugger has not ruled out bringing his talents to Flushing in 2013. 

"If Omar is still there it is something I would deeply consider.", said Chipper.  "I have always enjoyed Queens and my kids are getting older and college isn't getting any cheaper.  One of Omar's famous 'pay you for what you did 10 years ago' contracts might be just what I need when I am in my 40's."

For the record, Chipper's children Shea Jones and Citi Field Jones both support the move.

Omar Minaya also supports the idea.  "The guy has proven that he can beat you in so many ways.", said Minaya. "We would love to have that kind of pedigree on our team.  Also, I think our world class medical staff can extend his career by 4 years.  Just like they did with Luis." 

Jeff Wilpon was reluctant to talk to us but he eventually told us, "If Omar is still here in 2013, he has my full support to sign Chipper Jones."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Mets Manager Manuel Wonders Why His Name Is Not Being Mentioned In Connection With Cubs Job

The internet has been flooded with rumors of how the Cubs may want to replace Lou Piniella with another manager sporting a Yankee pedigree, Joe Girardi.

At this point it appears unlikely that Girardi will make the jump from the Big Apple to the Windy City.

An obviously delusional Jerry Manuel collared some sportswriters asking why his name hasn't been connected with the Cubs job.

"I've kept my team around .500 the whole season," said Manuel who noted that the Cubs are about 20 games below the break even mark.

He went on, "And I've done it with a short roster. You call having Oliver Perez on the team an asset?  How about what I am dealing with at 2B?  Sure, we ditched Cora but that just left us with the kid Tejada and old Luis over there."

Manuel pooh-poohed Girardi's accomplishments. "Sure, give me a guy like Robby Cano at second and an actual 25th player to use and I'll show you some impressive managing too."

Manuel talked like he expected to be and deserved to be a hot commodity on the free agent managerial list come October.
 
Asked if he'd want to bring his coaching staff along with him Manuel replied, "I think I have the best group of coaches in the bigs. I can't imagine what our offense would have been like without the steady hand of Howard Johnson. And can that Dan Warthen ever take a meeting on the mound? I still can't figure out what he's saying to those Japanese guys but he gets his message over. Doesn't he?"

"If the Wilpons and Omar want me back, of course I'll listen. But it's possible I'll be a better fit somewhere else. Chicago's one town but I expect there will be a bunch of openings. Heck, I see that some teams never ask their position players to bunt. I can fix that in no time."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Larry Smith.

Mets Players Boycott Bats As An Act Of Solidarity With Fans

Boycotts have been the talk of Metsville this week.  On Wednesday, one group led by Taryn Cooper of the blog My Summer Family held the Mets Fan Citi Field Sit Out with hopes of sending a message to the ownership.  Here at The Apple, we're not sure if the front office is listening but the players have clearly heard the message.

On Thursday night, several Mets players joined the cause and boycotted their bats.  As a sign of solidarity with the beleaguered fan base, these players (led by Ruben Tejada) will no longer bring a bat with them to the the plate.  These players will now attempt to get on base solely through the power of good intentions.  Ironically, many sabremetricians expect that this will actually lead to an improvement for a player like Tejada by virtue of the fact that he will no longer be able to ground out weakly.

But not every player on the Mets has been so quick to jump on the bandwagon.  Third baseman David Wright explained his reluctance to join the cause after the Mets 11-4 loss to the Marlins.  "I am in one of my hot streaks right now.", said Wright.  "I need these hot streaks so that at the end of the year my stats look somewhat impressive and I can continue to pose as one of the best hitters in the league.  I will boycott my bat next week when I'm scheduled to go hitless anyway."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Players Union Files Grievance Against The Mets For Unfair Treatment Of Oliver Perez

Perez works a shift at the Citi Field dunk tank

On Wednesday morning, the Major League Baseball Players Association filed a grievance against the Mets for what they termed unfair treatment of a player under contract.

For those unfamiliar with the situation, after refusing to accept a minor league assignment, the Mets have banished pitcher Oliver Perez to the bullpen using him only as an absolute last resort.  Upset with his poor performance after signing a large contract the Mets have adopted an "out of sight, out of mind" policy with the lefty.

Perez sells oranges outside of Citi Field

While this may not be the best situation for the pitcher, this is not the problem the union has with the Mets.  What has the MLBPA so upset is that recently the Mets have taken to assigning Perez some strange and often degrading tasks around Citi Field.  The tasks have ranged from embarrassing tasks, like manning the dunk tank, to downright racist tasks like selling oranges outside Citi Field.

The grievance by the union would seek financial penalties against the Mets if they continue this treatment.  The Mets argue that they are already paying a 3-year, 36 million dollar penalty and anything the MLBPA imposes would pale in comparison.

A protest group calling themselves People for the Ethical Treatment of Ollie, or P.E.T.O for short, had staged a protest outside of Citi Field before yesterday's game but the protest was called off after only two people, one being Oliver himself, showed up.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.