Monday, August 30, 2010

Mets Manager Manuel Wonders Why His Name Is Not Being Mentioned In Connection With Cubs Job

The internet has been flooded with rumors of how the Cubs may want to replace Lou Piniella with another manager sporting a Yankee pedigree, Joe Girardi.

At this point it appears unlikely that Girardi will make the jump from the Big Apple to the Windy City.

An obviously delusional Jerry Manuel collared some sportswriters asking why his name hasn't been connected with the Cubs job.

"I've kept my team around .500 the whole season," said Manuel who noted that the Cubs are about 20 games below the break even mark.

He went on, "And I've done it with a short roster. You call having Oliver Perez on the team an asset?  How about what I am dealing with at 2B?  Sure, we ditched Cora but that just left us with the kid Tejada and old Luis over there."

Manuel pooh-poohed Girardi's accomplishments. "Sure, give me a guy like Robby Cano at second and an actual 25th player to use and I'll show you some impressive managing too."

Manuel talked like he expected to be and deserved to be a hot commodity on the free agent managerial list come October.
 
Asked if he'd want to bring his coaching staff along with him Manuel replied, "I think I have the best group of coaches in the bigs. I can't imagine what our offense would have been like without the steady hand of Howard Johnson. And can that Dan Warthen ever take a meeting on the mound? I still can't figure out what he's saying to those Japanese guys but he gets his message over. Doesn't he?"

"If the Wilpons and Omar want me back, of course I'll listen. But it's possible I'll be a better fit somewhere else. Chicago's one town but I expect there will be a bunch of openings. Heck, I see that some teams never ask their position players to bunt. I can fix that in no time."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Larry Smith.

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