Exclusive Highlights From Vuvuzela Night At Citi Field

The night was finally upon us last night as the Mets took to the field to take on the Minnesota Twins on Vuvuzela Night at Citi Field.  The mainstream media is editing out the noise but The Apple has acquired the raw footage of last nights game.  Enjoy!

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Barajas "Injury" Caused By Excessive World Cup Celebration

Rod Barajas has sat out the last two Mets games and the story keeps changing.  First it was his difficulty catching R.A. Dickey and then yesterday the Mets announced that Barajas had a sore back.  Just a regular symptom of the wear and tear a catcher faces throughout a grueling 162 game season?  We didn't believe that either so The Apple did some digging and have gotten to the bottom of the story.

After checking around, The Apple has uncovered this photo of Barajas taken on Tuesday afternoon after Mexico had officially qualified for the World Cup round of 16.  Because the team had already banned the World Cup from the clubhouse, Barajas was out watching the game with some friends and Mexican soccer fanatic Jay Horowitz.  Apparently at some point during Barajas celebration he tweaked his back, taking him out of the lineup and leaving the Mets short one catcher.

Horowitz originally denied the story but when confronted with photographic evidence, he agreed to tell his side of the story to The Apple.  "It was after the game and we were all feeling pretty good.  Mexico had lost but South Africa's victory over France put the Mexican squad through anyway.", said Horowitz.  "We were getting pretty rowdy and then Rod attempted one of those soccer celebration slides like Landon Donovan did vs. Algeria, but landed awkwardly on his keys and wrenched his back.  It didn't seem like anything at the time but by the time we got to the ballpark it was starting to stiffen up."

Barajas is not expected to miss much time with the injury and the Mets have said he will face no disciplinary action because the incident took place under the supervision of Horowitz.  One thing is for sure though, between clubhouse shenanigans and vuvuzelas, the Mets will be glad when the World Cup is over.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

David Wright Foam Finger Night Tonight, Foam Dickey Night Wisely Canceled

Tonight at Citi Field the Mets will be giving out David Wright foam fingers to encourage fans to vote Wright into the All-Star game and simultaneously poke a little fun at pop singer Lady Gaga who is currently on a nationwide stadium tour of foolishness.

What few fans realize however is that under an original plan from the Mets marketing department, Thursday night was scheduled to be foam dickey night in honor of R.A. Dickey. The promotion called for fans to receive a giant foam hand gripping a knuckleball that said "Dickey" but unfortunately due to a communications error, the Chinese factory sent 20,000 foam penises that said "Knuckleball".  The Mets wisely have canceled the promotion.

Vuvuzela night is still scheduled for this Friday.


All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Dear Readers,

If I may step out of character for a moment, I would like to congratulate the Mets for having a sense of humor.  Lady Gaga likes to make a joke out of her self and the Mets have treated the "incident" as such.  The whole "Go Gaga For Wright" and "Use The Wright Finger" campaign is refreshingly creative by the Mets.  I know a lot of you find it hokey but I for one am glad to see it.

Thanks for reading,
Randy "The Apple" Medina

Mets Announce Vuvuzela Night At Citi Field

Despite their recent banning of the World Cup from the clubhouse, the Mets are apparently not necessarily ready to write off the event as a whole.  Today on their website the Mets announced vuvuzela night for Friday, June 25th against the Twins.  The move reaffirms the Mets commitment to chase any trend no matter how ill-advised.

The vuvuzela is a cheap plastic horn that has been thrust into the spotlight because of it's use at the World Cup in South Africa.  The sound is similar to a kazoo and when you multiply it by 40,000 or so the resulting sound is akin to a huge swarm of insects surrounding the stadium.

While many fans complain the noise is unbearable, the Mets front office does not seem worried.  The team believes that the promotion will allow them to tap into the international soccer-loving market and boost slumping attendance figures.  Team VP Dave Howard explains, "Times are hard right now.  If giving out these 'valenzuelas' puts people in the seats, I'll deal with a little noise."

Vuvuzela night will be sponsored by Pepsi.  Vuvuzelas will be handed out to the first 25,000 fans entering Citi Field.  Tickets are available at mets.com or by calling 718-507-TIXX.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.