Minaya Not Worried About Trade Deadline

While the trade deadline is still more than a month away, Mets GM Omar Minaya is not worried.  On Sunday, Minaya told The Apple about his backup plan in the event that the Mets are unable to land any help via the trade market.  His plan: time travel.

"We're going to try as hard as we can to get something done via traditional methods but in the event that it doesn't work out, we are exploring alternative methods of acquiring talent.", Minaya told The Apple.  While the farm system would be the logical assumption, Minaya insists he has found something more radical.  "I was watching this documentary about this kid and his time traveling car.  He went back to 1955 and almost destroyed himself but I think the potential is there.  If we can get this guy on our side, imagine the players we can bring back.  This guy could beat you in so many ways.  If we don't act quickly another team or possibly the Libyans are going to get to him first."

Minaya is not oblivious to the difficulties presented by time travel. 

"We'd have to change these guys names for starters.  People might get suspicious if we put Jackie Robinson at second but if we call up Jackie Sanchez from the minors no one will bat an eyelash. There is the small possibility that we could destroy the universe but this is New York and the fans expect you to do everything you can to win."

Minaya has clearly thought of everything.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

David Wright: Selfish Time Traveler?

We at The Apple love baseball cards.  In particular, we love the 2010 Topps baseball cards because of all the great inserts of old time players.  So you can imagine our surprise when we opened a pack of cards and this fell out.  This is a 1951 Topps David Wright "Red Back".

Now of course the logical assumption would be that this a modern day reprint based on an old style, right?  Yeah we're not buying that either.  What we believe we have here is a mystery worthy of a Dan Brown novel and the most definitive proof of time travel ever recorded.

At first we marveled at Wright's magnificence.  Here is a man who time traveled to decades before he was born, got the city to prematurely invent a fourth baseball franchise, and play well enough on that franchise to be immortalized on a card.  Truly, this is an incredible man.   

Not so fast.   The more we thought about the angrier we got.  Here is a man with all this power and he squandered it on baseball.  If Wright was truly walking around in 1950, surely there were more pressing issues he could have addressed.   Terrorist attacks, natural disasters, O.J.'s wife?  Wright could have warned us about all these things.  Instead, what does he do?  He plays baseball.

Who the hell does David Wright think he is?

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.