Fresh Off Hot Start Willie Harris Dumps Agent, Signs With Scott Boras

The Mets signed free agent Willie Harris to a one year $800,000 contract to be a role player off the bench. Harris has mostly played outfield the last couple of years but can also handle 2B and 3B.

Opening weekend went well for the veteran. He went 4 for 10 including 2 doubles and a HR. Based on that he fired his agent and signed on with Uber Mega Agent-to-the-stars Scott Boras.

Desperate Beltran Tries One Last Effort To Win Back Fan Support

Carlos Beltran has spent his entire Mets career fighting a losing battle for the support from the Mets fan base.  He hit 41 homers for the Mets in the 2006 season but fans only remember his strikeout in his last at bat of that year.  His frequent injuries and public dispute with the Mets over his off-season knee surgery have landed him a lifetime membership in most fan's dog house.  Now Beltran is headed for an MRI which could end his already shortened season and put the brakes on any ideas the Mets may have had about trading the center fielder.

But this time, Beltran has decided to take an aggressive approach to rehabilitating his tarnished image.  As part of the Mets current "Thank You Fans" initiative, Beltran has taken it upon himself to shave the message into his head.

Beltran's agent, Scott Boras, who also represents Mr. Met, explains Beltran's thought process.  "Carlos is going through at tough time right now.  He knows that if this MRI turns up anything he will be untradeable.", said Boras.  "In that scenario he finishes his contract at Citi Field with the Mets.  If that is going to happen he desperately wants the fans on his side."

Mets owner Jeff Wilpon applauds the move.  "I like to think that I have my finger on the pulse of the fan base.", said Wilpon.  "Mets fans are pretty easy to please.  They want luxury boxes and gourmet food.  They are pretty happy with the way the things are going and they ask for nothing more than our simple "Thank You Fans" message at ballgames.  I think they will embrace Carlos with open arms."

The Mets will play a single-admission double header tonight against the Brewers starting at 4PM.  On Thursday, they return to their normal routine with a double-admission single header.


All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Mr. Met Hires Super Agent Scott Boras

You can't keep Scott Boras down for long.  Just hours after news broke that Boras had been dropped by Alex Rodriguez, the super-agent was hard at work locking up another New York star.  Mr. Met held a press conference today to announce that he had signed a deal to be represented by Boras and would be leaving his former agent the San Diego Chicken. 

According to sources close to the Mets mascot, Mr. Met had become disappointed in the lack of exposure his current representation was generating.  Others within the Mets organization feel that there may be other motives.

"He's been hinting that his contract is due for renewal a lot.", says Piti Rivera, who works with Mr. Met on the Pepsi Party Patrol.  "I think he thinks that Boras is going to get him a huge contract like he got for Oliver Perez." 

If those are indeed his motives, sources inside the front office say that he may be chasing rainbows.  "What Mr. Met needs to understand is that while players can change teams and uniforms, he can't.  His is actually attached to him.", says Mets VP Dave Howard.  "That hat doesn't come off.  It's part of his head.  We'll negotiate a fair deal with him but make no mistake, it will be on our terms."

Even if his contract situation doesn't work out, it would seem he is reaping some off-field benefits of Boras representation.  Access Hollywood is reporting that Mr. Met has begun filming a movie with Will Ferrell while TMZ has posted images of Mr. Met and Kate Hudson leaving a NY nightclub and getting into a waiting limo together.  Both Mr. Met and Ms. Hudson have declined to comment.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.