Mets Players Protest 8PM Sunday Start Time

In a surprising show of unity every Mets player (and God knows how many there are at this point with the expanded rosters) signed a letter they have sent off to the front offices of the Mets, Cubs, and to Commissioner Bud Selig.

Here are excerpts from that letter:

Wilpon Petitions Selig For Re-Alignment Following Mets First Successful Road Trip

The Apple has eyes and ears everywhere.  Today, reader Larry Smith did a little snooping and uncovered this letter from Jeff Wilpon to Bud Selig.  Apparently, Larry spent all of last night in a dumpster hoping to stumble on some juicy gossip and this morning his persistence was rewarded.

 
June 18, 2010
 
Dear Bud,
 
You and I have known each other for many years and we've had some interesting conversations about the future of this game we both love. One thing we've talked about is reallignment, something I have consistently resisted. But recent developments have forced me to reconsider my position.
 
My team has just concluded an excellent swing through Baltimore and Cleveland, great American cities. It's a shame that the Orioles are going through such hard times and that they have to face juggernauts like the Yankees, Rays, Red Sox, and even the Blue Jays so many times a year. I really feel for them and their plight.
 
And things are not going that much better for the Indians in the AL Central.
Meanwhile this "traditional rivalry" stuff has really not been all that it was cracked up to be. Really, are the Yankees truly our traditional rivals? As some would put it, our rivalry is more like the rivalry that exists between a hammer and a nail. Those six games we have to play against the Bombers, even though they do pack the ballparks, are really match-ups we could live without.
 
Now here's a rivalry for you. Mets and Kansas City Royals. Yes Bud, that would really excite the fan bases of both teams. Think about that one.
Now while I haven't mapped out the entire reallignment I do envision a division that includes these teams:
 
NY Mets
Baltimore Orioles
Cleveland Indians
Pittsburgh Pirates
Arizona Diamondbacks
 
You and I both know how important it is to have the New York NL team be relevant. With these division opponents I believe that our team, even with Omar and Jerry at the helm, can be playing meaningful games late into every September.
 
So let's continue to discuss this. Keep in mind that I am entirely flexible. If you'd prefer it be the Astros rather than the Pirates then I could live with that. You know I just want what's fair and best for the game.
 
Your friend,
Jeff Wilpon


Today's post contributed by Larry Smith. All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

1st Place Mets? Not So Fast Says Commish.

Mets fans woke up today to find their beloved Metropolitans in first place.  Time to celebrate naked in the streets, right?  Well if the Commissioner of  Baseball Bud Selig has his way, the celebration may be short lived.

Selig today met with his advisors and  representatives from the players union to discuss a possible change to the way the standings are calculated.  The idea behind the changes is simply that Selig needs teams like the Mets in the basement to maintain the illusion of parity in the league and to show that his luxury tax/revenue sharing program actually works.

The change would bring baseball into a points system similar to hockey, awarding varying points for wins and extra inning victories. While this change would not greatly affect the Mets place in the standings, there are several wrinkles that have been thrown in that seem to be almost directly aimed at keeping the Mets in the cellar.

Under the proposed plan.  Teams will receive point deductions for the following:

Latin Players - 1pt.

Boring Mascots - 1 pt.

Interviews of Non-Baseball Celebrities during telecasts - 2 pts.

Starters going less than 5 innings - 2 pts.

GM's named Omar - 3 pts.

Dreads under du-rags under baseball caps - 5 pts.

Scary Looking Players (The Henry Blanco Rule) - 10 pts.

Should the plan go into effect, the Mets would already be eliminated from post-season play.  In fact they would have been eliminated since April 10th.  

MLB officials are expected to vote on the plan on Monday, depending on what happens this weekend in Philadelphia.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.