Three Mets Taken Into Custody At Arizona Airport

Several Mets players got a first hand look at Arizona's controversially strict immigration laws today when the team arrived in Arizona.  Upon arrival at Sky Harbor Airport, Mexican players Rod Barajas and Oliver Perez were taken into custody along with suspected Mexican Henry Blanco.

"It happened so fast.", said Mets 3rd Baseman David Wright. "We were getting ready to get our bags and then we got swarmed.  Next thing you know they got Ollie, Hank and Rod."

The move didn't exactly catch all the Mets by surprise.  The Mets had sent Johan Santana directly to L.A. to avoid this trip while some other Latino ballplayers such as Alex Cora and Frankie Rodriguez were smuggled into Arizona inside equipment bags.

The players taken into custody were quickly released with the exception of Perez who, at the request of the Mets, was kept for additional screening.  Arizona immigration officials insist they have done nothing wrong.

The players involved have different opinions of the situation.  Barajas, an outspoken critic of the law, was outraged and sees this as another example of why change is necessary.  Blanco, however, is used to this and offers a different opinion.  "When you look like me, you get used to being stopped.  I get stopped everywhere.", the Venezuelan catcher told the Apple.  "I once got frisked in the dugout at Citi Field by stadium security...in the middle of an inning."  Blanco was stopped for questioning 3 more times on the way to the team hotel.  

Oliver Perez however had the most interesting take on the whole thing.

"The coffee in the interrogation room was free.  So that was nice.", said Perez.  "But mostly, it's just nice to be wanted...by anybody."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

1st Place Mets? Not So Fast Says Commish.

Mets fans woke up today to find their beloved Metropolitans in first place.  Time to celebrate naked in the streets, right?  Well if the Commissioner of  Baseball Bud Selig has his way, the celebration may be short lived.

Selig today met with his advisors and  representatives from the players union to discuss a possible change to the way the standings are calculated.  The idea behind the changes is simply that Selig needs teams like the Mets in the basement to maintain the illusion of parity in the league and to show that his luxury tax/revenue sharing program actually works.

The change would bring baseball into a points system similar to hockey, awarding varying points for wins and extra inning victories. While this change would not greatly affect the Mets place in the standings, there are several wrinkles that have been thrown in that seem to be almost directly aimed at keeping the Mets in the cellar.

Under the proposed plan.  Teams will receive point deductions for the following:

Latin Players - 1pt.

Boring Mascots - 1 pt.

Interviews of Non-Baseball Celebrities during telecasts - 2 pts.

Starters going less than 5 innings - 2 pts.

GM's named Omar - 3 pts.

Dreads under du-rags under baseball caps - 5 pts.

Scary Looking Players (The Henry Blanco Rule) - 10 pts.

Should the plan go into effect, the Mets would already be eliminated from post-season play.  In fact they would have been eliminated since April 10th.  

MLB officials are expected to vote on the plan on Monday, depending on what happens this weekend in Philadelphia.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.