But the afternoon took a strange and slightly offensive twist when Wilpon donned his shades and his bling and performed as "Rappin' Freddy Dubs". The audience uncomfortably watched as the patriarch of the Wilpon clan dropped rhymes like, "Disappoint me and you're gonna be fired/Don't believe me, ask Omar Minaya" and "I got my man Sandy to brainwash the bloggers/ Because next week we change our name to the Dodgers."
To be fair, Wilpon was pressed into duty at the last minute. Originally the plan called for a more traditional performance by Mets ownership partner and deposed Nigerian Prince Dr. Clement Okon, unfortunately the team has had trouble locating Okon since they wired him ten million dollars last summer. With Okon unavailable, the team sought to recruit one of their African-American players to perform until they realized that they don't have any. They briefly toyed with the idea of re-branding Jose Reyes as Joey Smith but wisely decided against it. It was at this time that Wilpon, not wanting to disappoint the crowd, took to the stage.
Fortunately for the Mets, the crowd was mostly comprised of rich White business owners and Citibank execs. The few African-Americans in attendance we're too busy feeling sorry for Wilpon to be offended.
Happy Kwanzaa everybody!
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.
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