THE OFFSEASON ABOUT NOTHING by Larry Smith
SANDY ALDERSON (SA): Ah, good. You've arrived. Have some coffee and let's plan our day. There's lots to do.
JP RICCIARDI (JR): Great boss. We've been waiting a while to start rolling. Anxious to hear the plan.
PAUL DEPODESTA (PD): Absolutely. Oooh, donuts.
SA: I got a call last night from the Cubs. They wanted to know if we'd be interested in Gorzellany.
PD: Decent lefty. Reasonable stuff. What'd you say, boss?
SA: I said sure but then they told me that they wanted players for him and that's when they lost us.
JR: But who are they asking for?
SA: It doesn't matter. The only guys we can spare are Ollie and Luis and you know nobody will take them off our hands.
JR: Then what are we going to do today?
SA: Nothing. We'll just continue to monitor the market.
PD: What exactly does that mean? Like are we still talking to Chris Young?
SA: Oh sure. I talk to his agent every couple of days and continue to tell him that we're interested.
JR: What're they asking for?
SA: I forget. But whatever it is, it's too much. We have to let the market come to us.
PD: I know this is a whacky question, but aren't we in NY. How come we don't have any money to spend? Sometimes I think we had more wiggle room out in San Diego.
SA: Don't worry Paul. I have a plan. It'll all work out.
JR and PD (together): But what do we do today???
SA: Just do nothing!
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Larry Smith. You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight
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