Mets Plan To Test Robotic Manager Prototype This Season In Minors

You may have seen that IBM Corporation which in the past created Big Blue, a Grand Master caliber chess playing computer program, has adapted it to the TV game Jeopardy. It's called WATSON and has been having success in practice games against some of the greatest Jeopardy champions of all time.

Our investigative reporter Larry Smith has learned that Sandy Alderson, the Mets' GM, has commissioned IBM to further adapt the program for managing a professional baseball team. Not only that, but that the team plans to start using the program - working name HODGES - as early as this spring.
Smith confronted Alderson who agreed to a short interview on the spot.

Four Men Enter, One Man Manages: Alderson Says Mets Manager Will Be Decided In The Thunderdome

The Mets have a Gold Level Press Conference scheduled for Tuesday to announce their next manager but the decision has not been finalized.  Yesterday, Alderson announced he planned to hire all four as some kind of super-manager but Mets ownership shot him down saying that they would not pay for three extra managers.

Facing a four way tie for the job and unable to make a decision, the Mets new GM has decided to take the decision out of his hands and put it squarely in the hands of the men vying for the job.  His idea: a four way death-match at Citi Field on Sunday.

“These men have been fighting for this job since day one.”, said Alderson. “In the end, who am I to not give them the chance to literally fight for it.”

On Sunday afternoon, a steel dome or “thunderdome” will be set up in the parking lot of Citi Field.  Various weapons will be placed in the cage.  The four managerial candidates will enter and the last one standing will be given the job.

While Vegas has Backman as the odds-on favorite, fans should be careful not to count out Chip Hale.  Earlier this year, Hale was in a convenience store when an armed robber attempted to hold up the store.  The robber never walked again.

Tickets to the deathmatch will be sold on Mets.com and at 718-507-TIXX. The Mets however were pleased to announce that fans who renew their season or plan tickets by close of business on Saturday, will receive a complimentary pair of VIP tickets to the bloodbath as part the Amazin’ Mets Perks program. 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

It's A Tie: Alderson Leaning Towards Hiring All Four Candidates As Next Mets Manager

The interview process has been an arduous one. After paring the list down to four candidates it seemed assured that within days the Mets family would finally know who their leader would be in the dugout.

But when push came to shove all four principles voted a different way. Paul DePodesta insisted that Terry Collins was still his man. He wanted to hire him once and still thinks he's the best man for the job. Jeff Wilpon harkens back to a better Mets era and wants to bring in the fans' favorite, Wally Backman. Alderson himself likes the calming influence of "Vanilla" Bob Melvin (and while Joel Sherman of the NY Post hung that moniker on Melvin, the GM looks at him as more like Mint Chocolate Chip). And finally, mostly because no one else has taken him, J.P. Ricciardi has voted for Chip Hale.

During a silver level press conference, Alderson told reporters that his inclination was to give Melvin the job and ignore the other votes. But in the end he felt that the team needed a new direction and what could be newer and more innovative than having four managers? It was brought up in the press briefing that this kind of thing did not work out well when the Chicago Cubs tried it decades ago.

Alderson did say, "That was totally different. The Cubs were using coaches while the Mets will have four managers all with different areas they will take responsibility for. Kind of like Voltron!"

He then released to the press a spreadsheet that lays out precisely what part of managing each Mets manager will cover.

Alderson also stated, "You can't imagine how great these guys are in interviews. I could listen to all of them for hours. And, heck, we already did. It's just too hard to pick one and say 'You're our guy' and tell the others, 'Sorry, you lose'."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Larry Smith & Randy Medina.  You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight

Alderson May Let Strat-O-Matic Tournament Decide Next Mets Manager

The Apple has learned that new Mets general manager Sandy Alderson plans to add a unique task to the managerial interview process. Long an advocate of probabilities, Alderson has decided that phase 2 of his interview process will be to have each prospective manager participate in a Strat-O-Matic Baseball tournament.

Alderson explained to our reporter, "I know these manager candidates all are going to want the job so badly that they'll say just about anything - you know, blow smoke up my you-know-where." He continued, "They'll all want me to believe that they share my philosophy in how to run a team. Well, it's the offseason now and I have to know how these guys will really utilize their players. So we'll assign them each a team and we'll all have at it."

Asked whether he, Alderson, would be playing, he replied, "Sure absolutely. Frankly I can't decide whether to manage my '88 A's team which won 104 games or the '90 team that won 103. I guess it doesn't matter. I'll let Backman run the '86 Mets and we'll decide about the other guys after round 1 of the interviews. Ricciardi wants to play too but I doubt he can find even one of his Blue Jays teams that'll be able to compete."

Alderson is also going to have members of the local press corps come into the game room after each game is played. Their job will be to riddle the candidates with questions about any questionable strategies that they used. The GM hopes to find out which manager-in-waiting can handle the rigors of the NY beat writers and the constant threat of Adam Rubin coming after their job.

The logical question we posed was whether the tournament winner automatically gets the Mets manager job?

"Not necessarily", said Alderson. "If it looks like the winner got there due to 'hot dice' we would not feel obligated to award him the job. But if he has managed with careful thought and maximized his 'probabilities' then he may just be our guy."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Today's story by Larry Smith.  You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight