Topps To Release Special Gary Matthews Card

It's been a while since we had a good ol' fashioned Gum Stain Saturday but today Andrew over at Sports Card Forum returns with news of a soon to be released insert card from Topps.  It seems Topps has announced that they will be releasing a set of cards honoring useless players with bloated contracts. 

The set called "Weak Performance" is a spin-off of their Peak Performance relic cards.  Each card will honor a great underachiever and feature a piece of his actual salary.  Who else to lead the series than our own Gary Matthews Jr.  GMJ is featured on card WP1 shown on the right.

According to Andrew, the real value in these cards is how worthless they actually are.  In many cases the sliver of money is worth more than the card itself.  He expects collectors to remove the money and toss the card in the garbage.  Much like the Mets did with the real GMJ.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.  For real Baseball Card info check out www.sportscardforum.com

Gary Matthews Jr. Accepts Assignment...In The Gulf

The Mets completed their roster move today when Gary Matthews Jr. accepted his assignment.  While the move is nothing out of the ordinary, the assignment is.  The Mets today assigned Matthews to a clean up crew working on the BP oil spill.

Jeff Wilpon, who was on hand to observe Matthews' first day on the job, explained the move.  "We needed to find a place where Gary could do the most good.", said Wilpon. "We looked at different minor league scenarios and nothing seemed to fit so we explored some alternative assignments."

Matthews himself doesn't seem bothered with the move.  He seemed in good spirits as he went about his work.  The Apple suspects the millions he will collect from the Mets and Angels this year had a lot to do with it.

The move opens up new doors for the Mets to make the most out of bad contracts.  They are currently in a feeling out process with Scott Boras as to whether Oliver Perez would accept an assignment helping to plug the oil leak. 

Under the Mets plan, Perez himself would act as the plug. 

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.

Gary Matthews Jr, Tribute Video

Who will we blame losses on now?

Police Question Matthews Jr. About Murphy Knee Injury

Syracuse Police today detained and questioned Mets outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. today about his possible involvement in an on-field incident last night that may cost Daniel Murphy the rest of the season. 

Murphy was injured in a AAA game yesterday when he was rolled by Skychief outfielder Leonard Davis.  It is no coincidence that Davis is a long time associate of Matthews and the two were suspected of tampering with Carlos Beltran's knee brace earlier this year.  No charges were ever filed in that incident due to lack of evidence.

The cornerstone of this investigation however is surveillance footage obtained by the Syracuse Police which appears to capture a meeting that occurred this morning outside of a shady Syracuse motel.  The footage is believed to show Matthews paying off Davis for services rendered.  Services possibly rendered to the knee of Daniel Murphy.

Matthews insists that he was simply using his off day to pay off an old golf wager and he has done nothing wrong.  At the moment it does not look like any charges will be filed and the Syracuse PD won't be making a move until they have interviewed Davis and Murphy as well. 

Sergeant Rick Leach of the Syracuse Police Department is optimistic they will eventually be able to build a case.  "These guys can't be allowed to continue to flaunt their indiscretions this way.", says Leach.  "The fact that they are doing the deal in full uniform is a slap in the face to law enforcement everywhere.  The one guy is wearing a batting helmet for Pete's sake." 

So for the moment it appears that Matthews Jr's roster spot is safe.  If you ask us, this sounds like a case for Lance Strongjaw.

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story.